The WSJ Wants To Remind You Anthony Scaramucci Is The Trump Advisor Who Was Fired By Goldman Sachs

The Journal's report on the Mooch's new job is a weird masterclass on trolling from a very unlikely source.
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As has been rumored for some time now, even on this filthy bathroom wall of a website, Anthony Scaramucci is getting a gig in the Trump White House.

Mooch.Trump

This news is not a surprise to anyone who has followed The Mooch and his career. He has been angling towards this kind of professional transition for many moons and although he came late supporting the now President-elect, he did so with characteristic vim and vigor once he hopped aboard the Trump Train.

What is surprising about this news is how it was reported. The Wall Street Journal - that bastion of liberal snark - published a story earlier today about Scaramccui's new government job and the piece itself reads more like a Mooch roast than a WSJ-style report about a transition hire.

As something of experts in the field of shade-powered "reporting," we are frankly a little shocked by what we've just read. Sure we've had our fun with The Mooch from time-to-time, but the two reporters behind the WSJ piece seem can be our Jedi masters, because their story is replete with zingers.

Here's how it starts:

Wall Street’s hedge-fund showman is ready to leave investing behind for a new act in Washington.
Anthony Scaramucci, the founder of SkyBridge Capital and an extravagant hedge-fund conference known as SALT, is likely to take a job advising Donald Trump that could be announced as soon as Thursday. Mr. Scaramucci has been a loyal—if late arriving—surrogate for Mr. Trump on television and Twitter as well as a near-daily fixture at Manhattan’s Trump Tower transition headquarters since the New York businessman won the November election.

This is not the kind of start one expects from The Journal, and it's maybe the most vanilla section. To wit, here's a quote from one of Scaramucci's "friends":

“Being in the arena, at the center of power, is something Anthony has always desired,” said Andrew Boszhardt, who started a money-management firm with Mr. Scaramucci in 1996. “I think Washington is in many ways a more natural fit” than Wall Street, he said.

The piece goes on to remind readers that Scaramucci supported other candidates in the GOP primary, compared the fiduciary rule to slavery and also describes him thusly:

For the self-described “diva” dubbed “The Mooch,” the move to the White House is the latest maneuver in a career advanced through self-promotion, well-timed bets, and a knack for surviving failure and gaffes.

Jiminy!

But what of Scaramucci's business success story? Would The Journal like to talk about what a great financial mind he has?

Mr. Scaramucci’s charisma has propelled his career. It helped him survive being fired by Goldman Sachs in 1991, where he washed out of the real-estate investment banking business. His boss at the time, Michael Fascitelli, recommended him for another job in the division that sold stocks to institutional investors and private clients, where he excelled at cold-calling and building his client base.
Mr. Scaramucci later left Goldman, and started and sold a money-management firm to Neuberger Berman Group Inc. His next move was to start Skybridge, which at the time took stakes in new hedge-fund management firms. The business essentially failed during the 2008 financial crisis and lost money for its original investors, some of them former colleagues at Goldman Sachs. Mr. Scaramucci quickly pivoted the firm by purchasing Citigroup Inc.’s hedge-fund management group.

Holy shit. We once compared The Mooch to The Talented Mr. Ripley and even we think this is rough. But it's not nearly as rough as how the WSJ ends.

“He was not the best analyst or associate,” said Mr. Fascitelli, who was also CEO of Vornado Realty Trust. “As he got more into what his skill set is -- dealing with people, selling and trusting his instincts -- he was really terrific.”

What a...pal?

For his part, The Mooch seems to be taking this all in stride:

While it's not often that you see the WSJ go the full Rickles, it's even more of a shock to see a hedge fund manager turned West Wing staffer deploy the old Eminem "The Way I Am" defense to a snarky Journal profile.

You've got moves, 2017. And congrats to The Mooch on his new gig, or whatever.

‘The Mooch’ Earns the Ear of Donald Trump [WSJ]

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