Get Ready For Ambassador Anthony Scaramucci

As the Mooch ponders a diplomatic life, here are some ideas as to where the Trump administration might send him.
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Anthony Scaramucci's life is a whirlwind. Back in November, he dismissed talk that he was angling for a spot in the Trump White House. “I'm not looking for a job and I'm not jockeying for a job,” he told Bloomberg. Within a month, he'd put his fund-of-funds SkyBridge Capital up for sale in anticipation of a job. In January the sale went through as the Mooch was tentatively named for the highly sought-after position of Director of the White House Office of Public Liaison and Intergovernmental Affairs.

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Yet the twists don't end. It came out Tuesday that something – perhaps a conflict of interest, perhaps a conflict with Omarosa – was keeping Scaramucci from his rightful place at or near the Donald. On Wednesday the intrigue deepened, with news that the Mooch's nomination had gotten snagged up in review from the Office of Government Ethics. Now, says Bloomberg, word is that Scaramucci might be offered an ambassadorship.

Scaramucci is mum on the news. His Twitter profile remains optimistically unchanged:

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But if a Scaramucci ambassadorship is indeed in the works, where might he land? We put together some ideas.

Italy

Scaramucci grew up in a big Italian family on Long Island and he wants you know it. As practitioners of the M.O.O.C.H. system know, he would be a strong proponent of foreign direct investments in the boot: “Always invest with an Italian,” he said in 2011. ”They like cash businesses, and an Italian will only steal as much as he can fit in the trunk of his car in cash.” As it turns out,Scaramucci mentioned he might be up for the Rome position on a Reuters podcast a few days before the election.

The Holy See

Like Pope Francis, Scaramucci is a man whose family emigrated west from the motherland, and he remains, by his own account, a practicing Catholic. Indeed, it was his “Catholic upbringing,” somehow, that led him to vote for Barack Obama in 2008, as he later told Steve Forbes. Huh.

Luxembourg

Post-Brexit, the Grand Duchy has positioned itself as a haven not just for taxes but financiers as well, advertising itself as “the only country left that still loves bankers.” Scaramucci, who knows quite a few bankers himself, would be a perfect fit in the tiny dukedom.

Russia

During his annual jaunt to Davos this year, the Mooch had extra responsibilities beyond the usual schmoozing, namely, hyping up his new boss. By all accounts, Scaramucci performed with aplomb. But his success was slightly overshadowed by a meeting with a Russian investment fund executive that might have violated a U.S. sanction or two. A liability in any other context, the incident shows just the kind of moxie the U.S. needs in its Russian diplomat.

China

The country might be Trump's economic arch-nemesis, but Scaramucci isn't afraid of China. Not only did he manage to sell SkyBridge Capital to investors including Chinese investment fund HNA Group (and the murky RON Transatlantic), he reportedly negotiated the price to somewhere in the vicinity of $200 million, a valuation more than 7 times Ebitda. What, other than expert negotiating chops, could explain that kind of dealmaking from a would-be White House staffer?

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