Driving To JFK Is Now Something Only Suckers And Interns Do

Blade takes you from Hudson Yards to JFK in less than 10 minutes.

As most NYC-based travelers are aware, the most agonizing leg of any long journey is often the one that takes you to John F. Kennedy International Airport from your home or office.

In fact, almost every New Yorker can recount a moment in their life in which they came to fully believe that they would die of old age sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the Van Wyck Expressway. That temporal anguish is only deepened when the travel is for work and one can smell the money burning as the time ticks away.

But there is another way.

As we learned last week, it is possible to get from Hudson Yards to the JFK tarmac in about 7 minutes. And thanks to the folks over at BLADE, we can attest to have experienced it in real life.

We rolled up to what seems like an ersatz trailer park erected on a narrow strip wedged between the West Side Highway and the Hudson River. After being buzzed through the door of a trailer painted matte black, we entered a luxurious lounge replete with comfortable chairs, flat-screens showing famous helicopters throughout history and a bar replete with a blonde model attired in a 70s-esque stewardess uniform serving drinks. As befitting a high-end NYC startup aimed at HENRYs ("high-earners not rich yet"), the whole scene is curated down to every detail (the liquor is complimentary, top-shelf and served in a bespoke plastic travel mug made to look like a wine glass, and your server's throwback uniform was designed Cynthia Rowley with custom Sarah Jessica Parker shoes). It makes one feel like the money being shelled out is worth every penny.


And perhaps it is. As mentioned before, the time savings compared to a black car or Uber that can run up to the $150-$200 range almost justify BLADE's one-way fare of $295. Once inside the actual helicopter, a snug yet comfortable leather seating area that fits 6 travelers (your drink returned to you by your stewardess/bartender who remains behind), the 5:15 departure time is achieved and you are up, up in the air above Midtown West and staring down at all the suckers sitting in West Side highway traffic. The cost-benefit analysis seems to melt away.


Our journey down the West Side of Manhattan was characterized by a lovely winter sunset and abnormally strong winds. We are notoriously frightened flyers so the initial sensation of bumping up and down was harrowing, but even we were calmed within moments by the breathtaking views and the skilled piloting that took us down below the south tip of Governor's Island and out across Brooklyn.


Landing on the runway at JFK feels borderline indulgent, and being ushered into a private holding area where your bags meet you almost immediately gives the sensation of time-travel. It's been 10 minutes since you stood on the West Side of midtown Manhattan, yet here you are at JFK. For any real New Yorker, the whole affair is surreal...and awesome.


Now, BLADE is not an advertiser (yet) but they are giving us two free seats as part of a Dealbreaker contest we will unveil in the next few weeks. So stay tuned for that.

Until then, check out BLADE's website (they also do flights to LaGuardia, Newark, The Hamptons and have a semi-private plane situation for Miami getaways)


What To Do (Or Not Do) Upon Waking Up In A Car "Driving Through A House," Part II

Back in May, we had a frank discussion about drinking with colleagues and/or clients after work. Specifically, how many drinks one should put away in order to have a good time but not cross any unfortunate lines. At the time, we used a young lady named Sophia Anderson as our guide and said that, assuming you have the tolerance of a 21 year-old female and considered being arrested post-Happy Hour for driving your through a stranger's house one of those lines, no more than a dozen beverages should be consumed, with fourteen being the absolute max. Today we have just a quick update, to those for whom it bears mentioning, that if you're going to ignore said guidelines and have that fifteenth cocktail shortly before accepting a ride home from an equally sloshed coworker who confuses someone's front lawn/foyer/kitchen/backyard patio with the road, you should probably not agree to lie to the police and say you were the one driving. Not even if you're secretly in love with him or her; not even if he or she promises to take take you on vacation after all of this blows over; not even if you were passed out the whole ride and a bit disoriented after "[waking] up as the incident occurred and the car drove through the house." The sneaky punk who conned his drunk and coked-up girlfriend into taking the DWI rap for crashing through, and trashing, a Long Island home in his mom’s Mercedes convertible, was finally charged today with the May 28 crash and ordered held without bail. Suffolk DA Tom Spota said Dan Sajewski, 23, tricked Sophia Anderson, 21, into telling cops that she was behind the wheel when he crashed through the Huntington home of a 96-year-old woman – taking a 30-foot tree with him from the front to the back yard. Spota said the incredible demolition derby was the end result of a night of boozing and cocaine snorting at the $1.7 million mansion of Sajewski’s parents in exclusive Lloyd Harbor – when Sajewski and Anderson took a high speed joyride for more beer. ``We know what really happened that day,’’ said Spota at a press conference after the court session. He said the couple, along with three pals, were doing shots of Jack Daniels and snorting coke at Sajewski’s doctor dad’s home until 4 a.m. The crash occurred during a trip for more Heineken beer, while Sajewski was driving, said Spota. He said Anderson was passed out in the passenger seat and ``told us she wakes up as the incident is occurring and they were driving through the house.’’ Spota said Anderson ``was in love with him’’ and agreed to take the rap, after he promised to pay her bail and legal bills – and take her on a vacation. He broke his word and she revealed it was all a lie. The DA said that when an x-ray technician at the hospital told her she could not have been the driver because of her injuries, Anderson told him ``it’s a little too late for that.’’ LI punk held without bail for May 28 crash that destroyed elderly woman's home [NYP via DI] Earlier: Area Drunk Offers Handy How To Guide Re: Not Being Labeled “That Guy (Who Uses The Front Door Of A House As A Garage Door)” At The Office

Bill Gross Is Not The Only One Who Feels Fat

Are your pants getting a little tight? Have you become convinced mirrors have a personal vendetta against you? Are you too distracted by the rolls spilling over your pants to trade? Do you find yourself veering off course in your letters to investors to talk about your love handles? Is it only a matter of time before you lose your firm billions and/or take down the entire market because your fingers are so big they span four keys each on the keyboard? Do you want to do something about it but are repulsed by the idea of healthy eating and exercise and also know yourself well enough to realize that there is no way you're going to be able to stay strong if everyone around you is eating delicious fried food at lunch and sooner or later you, a usually pretty mild-mannered guy, will be leaping across a row of Bloomberg terminals and threatening to kill a coworker (and meaning it) unless he hands over Ho Ho now? Then round up your tubbiest colleagues and tell them they're in for a real treat. Eric Helms, who founded the four-year-old Cooler Cleanse company with the actress Salma Hayek, says office cleansers now make up 30 percent of his business, and in the last year he has hired three customer-service employees just to handle the details of them. He said there has been a “huge increase in popularity” of cleansing with co-workers in the last year, which he credits to juice diets being more mainstream. “Everyone knows someone who’s done one, and they realize they’re a lot easier to do with colleagues during the workweek,” he said. “People want to indulge” — not sip celery — “on weekends.” Recent six-juice-a-day-dieters include employees at Merrill Lynch and the Carlyle Group, she said. In May, Citigroup began offering BluePrintCleanse in some of its Manhattan cafeterias, a spokeswoman said...About two-thirds of cleanse clients over all are women, but corporate cleanses “commonly skew toward men, especially traders, investment bankers and lawyers,” said Jina Wye, director of sales and marketing for BluePrintCleanse, founded in 2007 by two former Hudson Hotel bartenders looking to swap their poisons. (Mr. Helms said 90 percent of his male customers are part of groups.) Ms. Wye said: “These Type-A men have an all-or-none perspective. If they’re going to commit, they do it whole hog.” Most popular among male en masse cleansers: the Excavation cleanse, described on the Web site as “the most intense.” And if you want to really crank things up a notch, consider gauging interest in a group colonic to top things off. Cleansing From Cubicle To Cubicle [NYT] Related: I’m afraid I might tell her to buy a gun and just shoot me before the fat and the cellulite strike again.