We're not saying that The Banking Gods are just amusing themselves by relentlessly pummeling Deutsche Bank into a metaphorical paste, but we also think Deutsche might want to just curl up and play dead at this point...just to see what happens.
Precedent-setting fines, giving away bonuses to pay those fines, poor management regarding those bonuses, Russian money laundering mishegas, bad investments, layoffs, and C-suite resignations have created a cosmic smorgasbord of shit for Deutsche Bankers. But why stop at just a few when you can have even more plagues rain down upon your bank.
Like, where are the handcuffs? Oh...there's news from Israel?
Boaz Schwartz, Deutsche Bank AG’s chief executive officer in Israel, was detained over alleged value-added-tax violations involving the company’s clients, the latest setback in the German firm’s attempts to end years of legal issues and misconduct.
We're sure it was just a misunderstanding...
Schwartz, suspected of misreporting 550 million shekels ($146 million) of transactions, was detained Tuesday, a day after tax authorities raided the bank’s local offices, seizing executives’ laptops and mobile phones, according to a statement from the Israel Tax Authority. He was freed under condition by Judge Karen Miller of the Jerusalem Magistrate’s Court.
The transactions, which began in 2011, were reported as if conducted by foreign residents, avoiding the 17 percent VAT that Israelis must pay, the tax authority said. Deutsche Bank said it’s cooperating with the investigation and that it acts in accordance with the law and strict legal advice, both in Israel and abroad.
Raids and seizures and bail? Oy vey.
But American Deutsche Bankers better get used to the idea of office raids, because according to Reuters, that might become something of a commonplace occurrence going forward:
The US Department of Justice is investigating potential wrongdoing by individuals who worked in Deutsche Bank's mortgage unit in the run-up to the financial crisis, according to two sources familiar with the matter.
The probe of former Deutsche staffers is a push to hold individuals accountable for their role in the housing crisis, one of the sources said.
Apparently that $7.2 billion settlement came with no strings about going after individual bankers.
No individuals who worked at Deutsche were named in the settlement. But the DOJ left open the possibility of pursuing individuals who had worked at Deutsche.
In a January 17 press release outlining the facts, finalization and terms of the settlement, the DOJ said that the settlement with Deutsche does not release any individuals from potential criminal or civil liability.
So now John Cryan can let his dreams be populated by the possibility of navy blue windbreakers crawling around his offices looking for old evidence and Deutsche-flavored perp-walks on television. All combining to remind us all of some reprehensible behavior that his bank spent almost a decade and an unfathomable amount of money to make people forget.
Like we said; maybe if it just lies there, the Gods of Banking will just get bored with Deutsche Bank and go back to torturing Wells Fargo.