Skip to main content

Mike Mayo Doesn't Need A Job To F@ck With JPMorgan

The Van Gogh of bank trolls will not be stopped by a mere sudden lack of employment.

True artists are possessed by a potent need to express themselves, and that yearning is exponentially stronger for the great ones who will do whatever it takes to put their art out into the world.


If you'd confiscated van Gogh's paintbrushes, he would have scrawled wavy landscapes on the wall with his own blood. If you'd taken away Mozart's piano, he would have banged on pots to create a melody. If you'd banned Shakespeare from the theater, he would have staged his plays in the fields.

So when you lay off super bank analyst Mike Mayo don't think for one minute that he will not find a way to troll the living shit out of JPMorgan on Investor Day...

Mike Mayo, the bank analyst who sparred with JPMorgan Chase & Co. executives at prior Investor Day presentations, showed up at the lender’s 2017 event less than 24 hours after his former employer, CLSA Ltd., shut down its U.S. equity-research operation.
“Mike Mayo, free agent analyst,” he said when introducing himself Tuesday, before asking a question to JPMorgan Chief Financial Officer Marianne Lake about profitability from deposits. 

Over the years, Mike has clashed with all the big names. From telling Dick Parsons that he should have quit Citi's board before he even joined it, to unleashing his wrath on poor BriMo, to telling Jim Gorman how to do his goddamn job, Mayo has said it all. But (his crusade against the idea of Citigroup notwithstanding) Mike's greatest duel has always been with Jamie Dimon.

The two men just really get a kick out of each other. Mayo makes it a point to ask Dimon questions that he knows will annoy "America's Banker" and Jamie has endless fun reminding Mike that bank CEOs are Jamie Dimon Reminds Mike Mayo He Drove To Work In An Eighty Thousand Dollar BMW

">so much wealthier than lowly analysts. Their pas de deux is one of finance's most entertaining quarterly spectacles, an expression of begrudging love between two true characters.

Luckily, it seems that Mike Mayo is aware of Mike Mayo's appeal, and he will not let the mere detail of not being an analyst with actual clients stop him from getting up in a room full of bankers and yelling out borderline rude questions at JPM executives. Mike Mayo doesn't need the information gleaned in the answers to benefit anyone, because when Mike Mayo asks a question, it benefits everyone.

Mike Mayo is free, and when Jamie Dimon takes the stage this afternoon, the artist will be in residence.

Bank Analyst Mayo Re-Emerges as `Free Agent' at JPMorgan Event [Bloomberg]



Crazy Optimistic Jamie Dimon Even Nice To Mike Mayo During Bizarre JPMorgan Investor Day Appearance

JPMorgan Investor Day got thisclose to J-Dimez grabbing the mic and growling "Let me drop some dope cap ratio lines on y'all!"


CNBC Now Paying For Mike Mayo Reruns

"Outspoken bank analyst" saving his best material for when he sees Michael Corbat in person.


Big Bank CEOs Respond To Brexit In Comfortingly Predictable Fashion

Important men don't change in a crisis, they become bigger versions of themselves.

Jamie Dimon Reminds Mike Mayo He Drove To Work In An Eighty Thousand Dollar BMW

Mike Mayo: I think what I hear UBS saying in their presentation is, if I'm an affluent customer, I'll feel a lot better going to UBS if they have a 13 percent capital ratio than another big bank with a 10 percent ratio, do you agree with that or disagree? Jamie Dimon: So you would go to UBS and not JPMorgan? Mike Mayo: I didn't say that, that's their argument. Jamie Dimon: That's why I'm richer than you.