Tom Friedman Trades Mixing Metpahors For Mixing Up Jamie Dimon's Surname

Mustache Tom is too freaked out to worry about "Details," you guys.

In yesterday's Times, Thomas L(oL) Friedman penned a heartfelt plea to America's business leaders, begging them to take up metaphorical arms in the resistance against the reign of Trump.


To be fair, Friedman's polemic started off hot:

Dear America’s Business Leaders:
I am writing you today because it will soon become clear that you’re going to need to do a job that you’ve never thought of doing before: saving the country from a leader with a truly distorted view of how the world works and the role America should play in it.
There is no Republican Party today to restrain President Trump’s worst instincts. Save for a few courageous senators, the G.O.P. has melted into spinelessness. The mainstream media can expose misbehavior, but can’t veto legislation. The Democrats control no levers of power. And Jared Kushner couldn’t even stop the Steve Bannon-led White House from issuing a Holocaust Remembrance Day decree that deliberately omitted any reference to Jews.

And it ended with a Friedman-esque four paragraph-long 'flourish.'

But I fear that Bannon is manipulating Trump into a more messianic mission — that his “new political order” is not just about jobs, but culture, an attempt to recreate an America of the 1950s: a country dominated by white Christians, not “cosmopolitans”; where no one spoke Spanish at the grocery store; where America’s biggest C.E.O.s weren’t named Satya or Sundar; where every worker could have a high-wage middle-skilled job; and where trade walls and the slow pace of automation meant you didn’t have to be a lifelong learner.
If that’s where Trump is going, it will take us to a dark place. The way we lift American workers is not by building higher walls, but rather stronger communities — where business, philanthropies, the local school system and local government forge adaptive coalitions to enable every worker to engage in lifelong learning and every company to access global markets and every town to attract the smart risk-takers who start companies.
That is exactly what is happening in America’s best communities, and the job of government is to scale it, and the job of big business is to defend it. So don’t be fooled by a Trump sugar high; your businesses will thrive only if America is the country that prepares itself and its workers to live in a world without walls, not one that goes around erecting them.
This is the “new political order” we need and that you must defend. You ignore this mission at your — and our — peril.

But the real kicker to the story - the true denouement - was this little tag right at the end of the online version:

Listen, this is a crisis, so if Mustache Tom wants to get the attention of powerful bankers to help change the course of history and throw off the yolk of creeping autocratic fascism. So check you inboxes for directions to the revolution, Michael Corbett, Lloyd Blankman, Brian Mc...SomethingIrish and Jimmy Gormans.

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A Concerned Citizen’s Plea to America’s Business Leaders [NYT]