Verizon Finally Gets Around To Telling Yahoo That It Ain't All That

If this relationship is gonna work out, there are going to be a quarter of a billion fewer dollars at stake.
Author:
Updated:
Original:

The merger that definitely should but apparently never will die is somehow still alive.

Armstrong.Mayer

After having looked through the garbage pile of assets that constitute Yahoo at this point and then discovering about a billion more problems with it, and then more problems, and then more, Verizon has stroked its chin, re-appraised and said "I like this about a quarter billion dollars less than I originally thought."

Verizon is getting close to a renegotiated deal for Yahoo’s internet properties that would reduce the price of the original $4.8 billion deal by about $250 million, according to people familiar with the matter, Bloomberg News reports. 

To which Marissa Mayer is obviously responding "That's all?!?!...I mean, umm, we can live with that."

And well should she sign anywhere to keep this going. While $250 million would be a real death knell for almost any other deal, Yahoo is beyond lucky to see only that much being shaved off at this point. If Evita Breadsticks can sell her flaming pile for more than $4 billion, we will have to take back almost everything we've ever said about her* before she takes a deserved senior role in the Mnuchin Treasury Department.

* [We're not taking back a word.]

Verizon Reduces Yahoo Deal Price by $250 Million in Revised Offer [Bloomberg]

Related

Armstrong.Mayer

Verizon Ready To Admit That It Got Totally Catfished By Yahoo

This was not what Verizon fell in love with over the phone.

Armstrong.Mayer

Verizon Gazes At A Sleeping Yahoo, Doesn't Know What To Think Anymore

TFW you can longer pretend bae isn't crazy as fuck.

MarissaMayerTiara

Reports: Marissa Mayer Thisclose To Getting Verizon To Pay $5B For What's Left Of Yahoo

She might just pull a half-dead rabbit out of a badly-damaged hat after all, you guys.

Armstrong.Mayer

Hey Look, It's Tim Armstrong's Turn To F@^* Up Yahoo!

Marissa Mayer finally finds herself on the right side of schadenfreude.

MarissaMayerTiara

Marissa Mayer's Yahoo Watch Has Finally Ended...And It Was Terrible

Oh, Evita Breadsticks, we'll will miss you most of all...

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.16.23 AM

Verizon Taking Its Final Huge Bath On Marissa Mayer's Yahoo Legacy

Tumblr is being sold for $20 million only six years after Double-M bought it for $1.1 billion.