Wells Fargo Solves Everything By Firing Four Middle Managers

Even Deutsche Bank is laughing at Wells Fargo right now.

For almost six months now Wells Fargo has lived as a pariah, shunned by the banking industry and the world at large. The stench of its fake accounts saga has permeated its reality and cost the bank its CEO, its good-girl reputation and so much revenue that we might never know an exact number.


Wells has wandered through the wilderness that is public shame, explored itself, taken account of what brought it here, likely started a promise journal and decided on a course of action that will return it to its former glory. Tough choices will be made, difficult goals will be set and met, customers will be brought back, the heavens and earth will speak of Wells Fargo's glory and The Stagecoach WILL RISE AGAIN LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES!!!....

Wells Fargo & Co has fired four mid-level executives and stripped them of bonuses and stock awards as a result of an investigation into improper sales practices in its retail bank, the company announced on Tuesday.

Oh, come on. What the fuck Wells Fargo? Really? We thought you were doing that "deep investigation?"

The board of directors voted unanimously to fire them for cause as part of its investigation into employees opening as many as 2 million deposit and credit card accounts without customers' permission.

Okay, if you clowns spent all that time figuring out that this scandal went all the way to the middle, we are going to want some names and some pretty evil actors...

The most recent firings include Claudia Russ Anderson, former chief risk officer for the Wells Fargo branch banking unit where the sales problems occurred. She took a personal leave from the bank in September, bank spokeswoman Mary Eshet said. Anderson could not be reached for comment.
The others fired by the bank were Pamela Conboy, Arizona lead regional president; Shelley Freeman, former Los Angeles regional president and now head of consumer credit solutions; and Matthew Raphaelson, head of community bank strategy and initiatives. None of them could be reached for comment.

Hold up. You were still employing your chief risk officer responsible for bank branches, the person in charge of the state that really screwed the pooch, your head of consumer credit solutions and the guy in charge of��branch strategy and initiatives? And you just now fired them almost six months later?

Do you want a fucking cookie?

We're not saying that you're not doing a great job of this clean up, Wells Fargo, but we will tell you that even Deutsche Bank thinks you're doing a terrible job.

Wells Fargo fires four executives amid probe into account scandal [Reuters]