Opening Bell: 3.8.17

Mike Mayo is more of a Cezanne than a Picasso; how to cry at work; Rhode Island statehouse apparently a den of booze and vice; and more.
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Wall Street CEO’s most notorious critic not ready to shut up (NYP)
Mayo believes that there’s still a place for critical Wall Street analysis. “There’s a lot of dead weight out there,” he said. “Cut through the BS.“ He likened his perfectionist streak to that of Paul Cézanne, a 19th-century French painter who created his masterpieces late in life, as opposed to Pablo Picasso, whose early work is prized for its genius. “I’m an artist! I’m Cézanne!” he said over his fish lunch. Where his next “studio” will be is anyone’s guess.

MikeMayoArtist

Investors Who Missed Bitcoin Rally Go for Dash, Ether, Monero (BBG)
With bitcoin on a tear, Mira Kwon decided there’s more money to be made elsewhere. A little over a month ago, the University of Maryland economics graduate began pouring more than $2,000 into a different crypto-currency called dash. “Bitcoin is expensive,” Kwon, a mother, investor, Korean interpreter and U.S. Army veteran, said in a telephone interview. “I think dash has a bigger growth rate.”

A Radical About-Face for Battle-Scarred Barclays: Take More Risk (WSJ)
Barclays PLC’s new corporate-and-investment-banking chief, Tim Throsby, recently toured his unit spreading a message that staff haven’t heard for years: Don’t be afraid to take more risk. Since his arrival in January, Mr. Throsby has told staff at meetings to reawaken their “commercial instincts” and use more of the bank’s risk appetite, these people say.

Target the spread (John Cochrane)
Perhaps the Fed should abandon manipulating the level of short-term rates all together, and simply target the spread directly. If it wants 2% inflation, offer to exchange, say, one-year treasury bonds in return for one-year indexed treasuries at a 2% premium, in any quantity you wish. Bring in a 1% indexed treasury, and you get a 3% non-indexed treasury, no matter what the going market rate or non-indexed treasuries. And leave the interest rate alone entirely.

The Expert’s Guide to Crying at Work (BBG)
In one survey of 13,000 people, 10 percent of respondents reported holing up in an office bathroom stall to let it all out. Another survey of 700 people found that 41 percent of female respondents and 9 percent of male respondents admitted to crying at work. I’ve done it at my desk in an open office space. And while reporting this story, many of my colleagues, men and women alike, have copped to getting emotional at work, too.

Freakish Peace Envelopes U.S. Bull Market as Year Eight Rolls By (BBG)
To Michael Shaoul, chief executive officer of Marketfield Asset Management, neither P/E nor the VIX is useful in determining a market top on its own -- and it makes no more sense to look at a combination of the two. “This idea can be summed up by the old term ‘two wrongs don’t make a right,”’ Shaoul said. “We can complain that valuations are no longer appealing and that the steady staircase-like move is unnerving, but we cannot say that these factors in themselves mean the end is nigh.”

'It's like kumbaya:' Trump's genial private meetings with CEOs jar with public attacks (Reuters)
"He said one thing for the cameras and the door shuts and then it's like kumbaya," said one person who was briefed on a meeting between Trump and a group of CEOs. "He likes to be seen as engaging and buddy buddy with other big important business leaders," said this person.

Lawmaker shocked by 'insane' boozing at Rhode Island capitol (AP)
A new state lawmaker said she's surprised by the "insane amount of drinking" that goes on in the State House. Providence Democratic Rep. Moira Walsh told WPRO-AM on Tuesday that lawmakers have "file cabinets full of booze." She described how they recently took shots on the floor of the House of Representatives to celebrate Dominican Republic Independence Day.

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Opening Bell: 10.24.18

Oil slumping; Trump feuding; Mike Mayo horny; Man seeking puppy in China buys rat by mistake; and more!

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Opening Bell: 9.20.16

Mike Mayo thinks Wells chief sucks but should stay on; Jack Ma’s finance biz may be worth more than Goldman Sachs; Bald eagles trained to snatch hostile drones; and more.

Opening Bell: 04.05.13

U.S. Economy Adds Just 88,000 Jobs (WSJ) U.S. employers added jobs at the slowest pace in nine months in March, suggesting weakening economic growth as higher taxes and government spending cuts start to have an impact. Employers added 88,000 jobs last month, the Labor Department said Friday. The unemployment rate, obtained by a separate survey of U.S. households, fell one-tenth of a percentage point to 7.6%, largely because of people dropping out of the work force. Economists surveyed by Dow Jones Newswires expected nonfarm payrolls to rise by 200,000. Obama Budget to Include Cuts to Programs in Hopes of Deal (NYT) In a significant shift in fiscal strategy, Mr. Obama on Wednesday will send a budget plan to Capitol Hill that departs from the usual presidential wish list that Republicans typically declare dead on arrival. Instead it will embody the final compromise offer that he made to Speaker John A. Boehner late last year, before Mr. Boehner abandoned negotiations in opposition to the president’s demand for higher taxes from wealthy individuals and some corporations. Congressional Republicans have dug in against any new tax revenues after higher taxes for the affluent were approved at the start of the year. Big inflows into bonds undercut the "Great Rotation" (Reuters) Big names like Pacific Investment Management Co (PIMCO), DoubleLine, Loomis Sayles and TCW have seen their main bond funds take in an aggregate total of roughly $5 billion during January and February. Vanguard's indexed Total Bond Market portfolios have received over $5.6 billion for the same period, according to the latest data provided by Morningstar. More broadly, while U.S. funds that invest in stocks have gained $78.88 billion in new cash so far this year amid the U.S. stock market's run-up, taxable bond mutual funds have garnered roughly the same - $76.41 billion, according to data from Thomson Reuters' Lipper service. Finding a Rate That’s Fairer Than Libor (NYT) Mr. Gensler would like to develop an alternative and points to two options. One would essentially be dependent on the Federal Reserve’s setting of the federal funds rate — the rate at which it will lend to banks. The other would be based on rates charged on secured loans. In each case these are real markets, at least in dollar-based transactions. He would like to phase in one of them as a replacement for Libor. Autonomy deal debacle takes toll at HP (FT) Hewlett-Packard’s chairman and its longest-serving directors resigned from their positions on Thursday in a delayed reaction to last year’s disastrous $8.8bn writedown relating to the company’s $11bn acquisition of Autonomy. Ray Lane will be succeeded as chairman temporarily by Ralph Whitworth until a permanent replacement is identified. Mr Whitworth, an activist investor who joined the board as an independent director in 2011, is HP’s fifth chairman in a decade. Argentina's Cristina Kirchner 'is an old hag' (Telegraph) Uruguay's President Jose Mujica has been left red-faced after apparently saying his Argentine counterpart Cristina Kirchner was "an old hag" in remarks picked up by an open microphone. ... "This old hag is worse than the cross-eyed man," Mujica was caught saying at the start of a news conference while speaking quietly with another official. El Observador newspaper, which posted the audio on its website, said Mujica was referencing the Kirchners and did not realise that the microphones were already on. Nestor Kirchner died suddenly of a heart attack in 2010 and had a lazy eye. Millionaires Got $80 Million in Jobless Aid in Recession (Bloomberg) The U.S. government paid almost $80 million in unemployment benefits during the worst of the economic downturn to households that made more than $1 million, including a record $29.9 million in 2010, tax records show. Almost 3,200 households -- about 20 percent of them from New York -- that reported adjusted gross income of more than $1 million received jobless-insurance payments averaging $12,600 in 2010, the latest year for which figures are available, according to IRS data compiled by Bloomberg. Those payments outpaced the total incomes for about 25 million U.S. households. Wells Hit on Pace of Mortgage Relief (WSJ) New York's top prosecutor is raising concerns about the pace of relief provided to the state's mortgage borrowers by Wells Fargo WFC -1.38% & Co. under a landmark $25 billion settlement, in the latest sign of dissatisfaction with the foreclosure-related legal remedies agreed to by banks and state and federal officials. "We are concerned that Wells Fargo is underperforming compared to other banks," said Attorney General Eric Schneiderman. "By identifying this pattern early, there is still time to address this issue and increase activity so that Wells's customers will be afforded meaningful assistance to keep their homes." Stephen Friedman to Retire From Goldman Board (DealBook) A onetime leader of Goldman who worked at the firm for nearly 30 years, Mr. Friedman is stepping down on May 22, the day before Goldman’s annual shareholder meeting. He will be replaced by Adebayo O. Ogunlesi, a well-known figure on Wall Street who joined the board last fall. ... Upon stepping down from the helm of Goldman in 1994, Mr. Friedman dismissed rumors that he was in poor health. “Only on Wall Street,” he told The New York Times at the time, “do people think it bizarre that I don’t want to spend half of my day on the telephone and the other half on an airplane.” Historical Echoes: Central Bank and Paper Money Innovator Given Death Sentence for His Efforts (Liberty Street Economics) In 1668, but still: watch out Bernanke. University of Rhode Island campus gunman scare may have been sparked by 'Humans vs. Zombies' game A police probe revealed that there never was a gun or active shooter on the Kingston campus, and that no one was ever in danger. However, Nerf guns were uncovered during a room-by-room search of Chafee Hall, which is where the incident started. The toy guns, which blast out foam balls or darts, are used in a game called “Humans vs. Zombies,” campus police Major Stephen Baker told WPRI. On Thursday, a student group was in the middle of a week-long round of the game, which is an extreme version of tag popular on college campuses across the country.

Opening Bell: 1.14.16

JP Morgan beats expectations; Mike Mayo expects activists to target banks; "Sleazy dirtbags run Silicon Valley"; Australian man stops car theft with flying kick through passenger window; and more.

Opening Bell: 11.06.12

Europe, Central Bank Spar Over Athens Aid (WSJ) Greece faces a key Treasury-bill repayment in less than two weeks, and the money isn't there unless governments provide additional aid or the ECB agrees to lend Greek banks the money to roll over the debt. It is a particularly sensitive issue for the ECB, which is trying to create a credible financial backstop to hold the euro together while governments overhaul their economies and finances. But with each step the ECB takes to help Greece and others, it inches ever closer to rules that prevent it from printing money to help governments out of their debt problems. The bank is already facing accusations in Germany that it is straying from its primary mandate to keep inflation low. Iceland Sees Mortgage Bubble Threat From Foreign Cash (Bloomberg) Iceland’s lawmakers are searching for ways to keep their economy from lurching into another asset bubble as offshore investors forced to keep their money in the country channel it into the housing market. Apartment prices have soared 17 percent since April 2010 and are now just 1.7 percent below the pre-crisis peak in March 2008, Statistics Iceland estimates. The boom stems from currency restrictions imposed in 2008 to prevent the collapse of the Krona after the country’s biggest banks defaulted on $85 billion of debt. While those controls helped cauterize a capital exodus and propel a recovery, it left about $8 billion in offshore kronur that can only flow into Icelandic assets, inflating demand for housing and mortgage bonds. The government is now seeking to correct the imbalances, which risk plunging the island into yet another boom-bust cycle just four years after the banking industry dragged the economy through its worst recession since World War II. FBI Probes Rochdale Securities (NYP) The Stamford, Conn., broker dealer is teetering on the brink of extinction, the result of an unauthorized $1 billion purchase of Apple shares on Oct. 25, sources said. The trade of 1.6 million Apple shares was made — instead of a client’s order of one-tenth that amount, or 160,000 shares — to perpetuate the alleged stock manipulation scam, people familiar with the matter said...The alleged stock manipulation scam was being worked with at least one other unidentified trader not affiliated with Rochdale, sources said. Multiple sources said the alleged scam had already pocketed the traders roughly $20 million, sources said. Drop In Financial Deals Spurs One (WSJ) New York investment bank KBW made it through the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, but it couldn't outlast a drought in financial-services deal making. KBW, which struggled in recent years at the hands of a sharp slowdown in its core business—financial-industry merger advice—agreed be acquired by larger rival Stifel Financial for $575 million. Berkshire Cash Nears Record as Buffett Extends Deal Hunt (Bloomberg) Cash surged 17 percent to $47.8 billion in the three months ended Sept. 30, Omaha, Nebraska-based Berkshire said in its quarterly regulatory filing Nov. 2. That’s $115 million less than the record at the end of June 2011. “He’s elephant hunting,” said Jeff Matthews, author of “Secrets in Plain Sight: Business & Investing Secrets of Warren Buffett” and a Berkshire shareholder. “And there aren’t a lot of elephants around.” Did Wall Street Just Give Up On Romney? (NetNet) John Carney says yes: "On the eve of the election, many financial professionals on Wall Street believe that Mitt Romney has lost the election. In phone conversations, email and instant messaging exchanges, and text messages with over 20 people in different jobs on Wall Street today the message I picked up was almost universal: The president will be re-elected." Christie: Hug From Springsteen Made Me Weep (WaPo) New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie told reporters Monday that he had an unexpected — and moving — conversation earlier with his hero, Bruce Springsteen. He also got a hug from the rock legend on Friday, at a benefit concert for victims of Superstorm Sandy. He later cried, calling the moment a highlight in a tough week. “Bruce and I had an opportunity to chat for a while Friday night… we hugged and he told me, ‘it’s official, we’re friends,” Christie said at a news briefing. President Obama was on the phone with the Republican governor Monday, discussing storm damage, when he briefly handed the line over to Springsteen. The rock legend is traveling on Air Force One as he campaigns for the president. Before the storm Springsteen refused to acknowledge Christie, whose budget cuts he has criticized. But in the wake of the disaster, which hit the Jersey Shore particularly hard, he has started to embrace his ardent fan. HSBC Dirty Laundry Costs (Bloomberg) HSBC Holdings said it’s likely to face criminal charges from US anti-money-laundering probes, and the cost of a settlement may “significantly” exceed the $1.5 billion the bank has set aside. The lender has made an additional $800 million provision to cover a potential settlement, adding to the $700 million it had earmarked. A Senate committee said in July that failures in HSBC money-laundering controls allowed terrorists and drug cartels access to the US financial system. Bharara insider streak on line (NYP) With a 6-0 record in trial convictions against defendants caught in his insider-trading probe, Wall Street’s top cop Wednesday will kick off his final trial emanating from that investigation. Already the insider-trading probe has resulted in 68 convictions — including guilty pleas, the biggest Wall Street crackdown since the 1980s. Squaring off against Bharara in Manhattan federal court are two well-heeled hedge-fund defendants: Anthony Chiasson, founder of the $4 billion hedge fund Level Global, and Todd Newman, a former money manager with Diamondback Global. The beginning of jury selection was delayed more than a week because of Hurricane Sandy. Chiasson and Newman stand accused of reaping more than $60 million in profits from trading confidential tips about computer maker Dell and graphics firm Nvidia. 13 People Trying To Trade Gas For Sex On Craiglist (BuzzFeed) It was probably inevitable that the gas shortages in New York and New Jersey would lead to ads like "I've got gas from Hess and looking for any sexy woman who may not want to wait in those long lines for hours and hours only to find the station empty when it's their turn. So let me know, I'm sure we could work something out to get your tank filled and empty mine. Call or text."

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Opening Bell: 3.2.17

Wells Fargo stares into the abyss; SEC rolls eyes at Snap shares; "Sizzler U" apparently not a reputable alma mater; and more.

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Opening Bell: 4.18.17

Larry Fink does not "identify as powerful"; ETFs are taking over Canada; apparently Navy SEALs can't do porn; and more.

Opening Bell: 5.3.16

Mike Mayo wants Goldman to buy eTrade; Apple on historic losing streak; Miss Sweden is a big Donald Trump fan; and more.