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Unemployed Area Man Is Certain That President Trump Is Creating Jobs, Optimistic That Data Will Agree

And Anthony Scaramucci is hopin' and a prayin' that - some day soon - one of those jobs will be his.

Anthony Scaramucci has been one of Donald Trump's most vocal supporters since the day he stopped supporting the two people he much preferred over Trump in the GOP primary. 


Despite living the high life as a hedge fund manager/restaurateur/part-time TV personality, The Mooch seems to have set his eyes on a White House job back in the summer of 2015. After settling on Trump and likely working harder than most people on that campaign, Scaramucci spent the holiday season doing a "Kiss my Mooch" victory lap on cable news while Beltway insiders took bets on which corner office in the West Wing would be his.

Alas, The Mooch got caught up in the batshit palace intrigue of the Tudor Court of King Donald I. Without a staunch ally amongst the three cut-rate Cromwells competing for Trump's attention (and what passes for "Trust" in his brain), The Mooch somehow lost his game of White House musical chairs to Omarosa. Unfortunately for The Mooch, he had already agreed to sell Skybridge Capital and pass over hosting duties of "Wall Street Week" to human lip gloss Maria Bartiromo.

So with nowhere to go in the mornings and "The White House" not popping up on his caller ID, what does that mean for Anthony Scaramucci? The man himself went on Bloomberg TV this morning to clarify:

Anthony Scaramucci said his status with the Trump administration remains unclear and that his deal to sell his firm should be completed in the next several weeks.
“I’m unemployed,” Scaramucci said in an interview Tuesday on Bloomberg TV and radio. “My status is still unchanged. I’m still about five to six weeks away from closing my transaction.”

That makes us sad. But what gives us hope is that we know you can't keep a good Mooch down. See, so loyal and doggedly on message is Scaramucci that he wouldn't even let his own personal experience with the Trump Administration's confusing approach to job creation dissuade him from going on live TV and tout Donald Trump's providential ability to ideate 100% employment.

Sayeth The Mooch:

"He is a jobs president. He's a growth-oriented president, and I think this is resonating. It'll start to really filter through the systems. It's already impacted the stock market and my guess is that we'll start to see it in jobs data."

Now we've been known to break Scaramucci's balls every now and then, but even we need to step back here and admit the obvious; No one deserves a job in the Trump White House more than Anthony Scaramucci.

In a West Wing now renowned for a toxic lack of trust and accountability, The Mooch has proven himself to be the most loyal of true believers. Despite every indignity that has been hurled his way since he raised money and sang The Song of Trump in rooms dead set against hearing it, The Mooch is still going on national television and telling everyone who will listen that the guy who screwed him over is FDR 2.0.

No one - and we mean NO ONE - deserves to be hired (and inevitably fired) by this White House more than Anthony Scaramucci. And he just happens to be super available at the moment.

Scaramucci Says 'I'm Unemployed,' Skybridge Deal to Close Soon [Bloomberg]



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