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Dealbreaker Madness Has Ended, Go In Peace

A terrible game provides a fitting end to a terrible bracket challenge.

Let’s take a moment to remember my advice to you before the NCAA Tournament: “don’t pick a No. 1 seed to win it all.” Now, let’s take a moment to look at what happened in the national championship game: No. 1 seed North Carolina 71, No. 1 seed Gonzaga 65.



There were 10 people in the Dealbreaker Tournament Challenge who picked North Carolina to win it all, and 90% of those people did not win a ride in a BLADE Helicopter. Sure, those people composed the entire top 10 of the final standings, but only Shaaa Braaa walks away – flies away – as our winner. Everyone else gets to lament having picked badly in other games.

Everyone could have saved themselves a lot of agita by being more like Team Beemers, who picked SMU to win it all, had no chance to win the contest by 7 p.m. on the first day of the tournament, then settled into a 70th place finish. No stress!

Oh, 70th place doesn’t sound so good to you? Well, guess what? There are 7 billion people in the world, and they all had the chance to enter this contest. Finishing in 70th place means being in the 99.9999999th percentile worldwide. What kind of elitist are you that being in the top 0.0000001% isn’t good enough? For shame.

So, congratulations to Shaaa Braaa, and also congratulations to you, the person with enough time on their hands to read words. There’s really no reason that you should be reading this, because if you didn’t win, you already knew that you didn’t win, or you saw earlier in the post who the winner was. Maybe you didn’t even participate in the contest, and yet here you are still reading. You truly are the king or queen of leisure. Please teach me your ways.

And speaking of leisure, tank artiste Andrew Gler managed to pick only 4 games correctly and will soon be the "proud" owner of a Dealbreaker banker bag. Andrew did slightly worse than Thornton and Owen who were both sucky mediocre and somehow better than Shazar who managed sign up but not fill out his bracket.

Just, you know, do a better job than I did by saying “don’t pick a No. 1 seed to win it all” before a tournament whose championship game was between two No. 1 seeds.

So Shaaa Braa and Andrew Gler should reach out to with your info and claim your rewards.



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