Deutsche Bank To Former Board Members: These Absurdly Expensive Fines Ain't Just Gonna Pay Themselves

The House of Cryan is attempting to create the politley Lutheran clawback.
(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

You guys want to see what clawbacks look like in Germany?

Deutsche Bank expects former board members to contribute substantial sums toward the costs of its past misconduct as Germany's biggest lender seeks to rebuild its reputation, its chairman Paul Achleitner said.
Achleitner told shareholders at Deutsche Bank's annual general meeting on Thursday that its supervisory board and two committees were discussing the need for personal and collective responsibility and the bank had sought external legal advice.

So, instead of using vague regulatory policy and public outrage to force its former board members to give back some of their spoils from the naughty old days, Deutsche is going to use the vague threat of legal action and the crushing power of Lutheran guilt? Prost!

"The supervisory board expects that in the coming months, there will be an arrangement which ensures that the individuals involved make a substantial financial contribution," he said, adding that while no decision had yet been reached, discussions were at an advanced stage.

"An arrangement"? Well isn't that some Euro passive-aggressive shit? Is this going to be like the Wells Fargo/John Stumpf "arrangement" in which the bank held him upside down as he left his office for the last time and shook him until a few mil fell out?

Or will it be like more of a group therapy thing?

The talks are focusing on why Deutsche Bank's own response was so slow, as well as its involvement in a series of financial scandals, Deutsche Bank sources told Reuters. Collective responsibility of the board for the bank's actions as a whole were at the center of the talks, rather than personal failure or involvement in individual litigation cases, they added.

So, yeah, the second one.

But is couples counseling with your exes the best way to get out of debt? What about public shaming?

Achleitner did not name any individuals,

Ugh, you're killing us, Paul!...

but Deutsche Bank sources said the board is in talks with around ten people, including former chief executives Anshu Jain, Juergen Fitschen and Josef Ackermann. Talks are underway with other former board members including Stephan Leithner, Rainer Neske, Henry Ritchotte, Stefan Krause and current board member Stuart Lewis.

Aha, very schlau.

So we can indulge ourselves in a little fantasy of John Cryan and Anshu Jain sharing a bottle of Grüner Veltliner and dining on some modestly prepared whitefish at a sleek and minimalist power lunch spot in Frankfurt.

"Anshu, old boy" Cryan says after dabbing the corner of his mouth neatly with a bright withe folded napkin, "It's a simple thing really; what was done was done under your leadership and while there is no need to assign blame or make a stink, paying us back is the right and proper thing to do."

"With all due respect," Jain responds, quaffing the last of his Grüner to let the moment linger and then leaning forward for emphasis,"Bitch, I gots mine."

Deutsche Bank wants former bosses to share past misconduct costs [Reuters]