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Elizabeth Warren Politely Requests That Federal Regulators Bring Her The Severed Head Of Carl Icahn

BREAKING: The inevitable has occurred.

Well here's a surprising thing that also feels like it took forever to happen...


Eight Democratic Senators on Tuesday asked U.S. regulators to launch an investigation into billionaire Carl Icahn’s activities in the U.S. biofuels blending credit market, saying the activist investor may have violated securities trading laws since becoming an adviser to President Donald Trump.
“We are writing to request that your agencies investigate whether Carl Icahn violated insider trading laws, anti-market manipulation laws, or any other relevant laws based on his recent actions in the market for renewable fuel credits,” the senators said in a letter to the heads of the Securities and Exchange Commission, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission, and the Environmental Protection Agency.

We've been saying for a while that Uncle Carl is swimming around in a legal/regulatory grey area since his BFF Donald Trump got into the White House and started taking requests, but we also just assumed that no one would say anything because Uncle Carl is like a shark; he's a born predator who can't stop swimming into areas that are optimal for him regardless of the effect he has on smaller fish. And like a shark, you can try to stop him, but he will kill you...and that's a dumb way to die, right Bill?

But if anyone is zealous and brave enough to take on Uncle Carl, it's the Bindi Irwin of the US Senate; Elizabeth Warren.

The letter, a copy of which was seen by Reuters, was signed by Democratic Senators Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts, Sheldon Whitehouse of Rhode Island, Sherrod Brown of Ohio and five others. The letter acts as a request, and the agencies are not required to act upon it.

But, like, they really want regulators to act because they are pretty fucking sure Uncle Carl is whisper-setting White House policy and then profiting from his "advice..."

“We have no way of knowing at this time whether Mr. Icahn made any of his renewable fuel credit trades or decisions about trades based on material, non-public information or otherwise manipulated the market,” the senators wrote.
“But the publicly available evidence is troubling, and based on this evidence, we ask that your agencies investigate whether Mr. Icahn's conduct violated any laws under your jurisdiction,” they said.

This is all murky, partisan and gross but if you sit back and look at this from a certain perspective, it's kind of comforting that despite all the bizarre uncertainty raging around us, Carl Icahn is maybe still trying to get away with whatever he can get away with and Elizabeth Warren will drive herself mad trying to stop him.

Democratic Senators call for probe into Icahn’s biofuel credit dealings [Reuters]



Locker Room Veteran Carl Icahn Has Heard It All, You Guys

This makes you wonder if Carl Icahn ever considered the option of STFU.