Facebook has released its first quarter results for 2017 and Mark Zuckerberg could have saved everyone a lot of boring reading time by just going on Facebook Live, throwing up both middle fingers, doing a little dance and shouting "Y'all beeen PLAAAAAAYED, Silicon Valley!"
"We had a good start to 2017," Zuckerberg said in a statement with Wednesday's earnings release. "We're continuing to build tools to support a strong global community."
The social media platform makes most of its money by connecting advertisers to its massive user base. It earned $7.86 billion in advertising revenue, up 51 percent from a year ago, and higher than the $7.68 billion expected by a StreetAccount estimate. Average revenue per user was $4.23, higher than the $4.17 expected by StreetAccount.
Facebook also added 80 million monthly users in Q1 2017 and beat estimates on both metrics of user growth.
But all of those bug numbers are somewhat eclipsed by this single line in Facebook's release:
"Facebook is no longer reporting non-GAAP expenses, income, tax rate, and earnings per share (EPS)"
Using GAAP accounting in Silicon Valley is - for lack of an appropriate term - baller. For an industry almost predicated on gently fudging numbers, going GAAP is Zuck and Sheryl Sandberg throwing down the gauntlet and telling Wall Street, Sand Hill Road and everyone in between that Facebook is done pretending that it's not a corporate titan on par with Goldman, Google and Amazon. Right now, Facebook shares are slipping because the company missed on EPS, but it's not hard to fathom that Facebook wouldn't have missed using Non-GAAP and continuing to pretend like stock options aren't a huge part how Facebook acquires and retains talent.
Going GAAP is Zuckerberg saying "We're done fucking around with fucking around...and also that Snapchat stock some of you are holding is now the most expensive toilet paper you've ever bought."