Even we've grown pretty sick and tired of the neverending soap opera hate triangle between Bill Ackman, Herbalife and Carl Icahn.
That said, we can't stop watching, so here's a dumb thing that happened.
At the Milken Institute Global Conference this week, [Herbalife CEO Michael] Johnson touted the wares of his nutritional supplement maker, offering free shakes and protein bars to billionaires, and painted Herbalife not as a company that narrowly avoided being classified a pyramid scheme, but as part of the solution to an obesity epidemic.
"Our company has been under scrutiny but we are a nutrition company," Johnson said on a panel called "Leading a Healthy Life."
"We are in a real mess because people don't take care of themselves," he added. "Our company helps with that. That's my advertisement."
Yeah, eat shit Bill Ackman! Herbalife isn't a company predicated on bilking greedy rubes, it's a company predicated on monetizing how fat and lazy most Americans are these days. And Johnson took his time relishing his victory over his fallen enemy, mostly because no one was going to stop him since Herbalife is a Milken Conference sponsor.
Speaking of sponsors, Johnson took special care to shout out his biggest shareholder, Brutal Master Carl Icahn. In a scripted moment that must have been both entertaining and excruciating to behold, Johnson used the lingua franca of Carl's favorite politician to rank out Icahn's least favorite "little jewish boy"...
"There was all this news agitated by a short seller," [Johnson] said on the panel. "Fake news."
And as if this latest (and let's face it; lamest) indignity of having his name dragged through the mud at a conference named after Michael Milken wasn't bad enough for The Ack Man, this was happening just outside the door:
Outside of the pavilion where Johnson was speaking, guests were treated to free Herbalife shakes and protein bars. There were some murmurs from some at the venue about Herbalife issuing a voluntary recall for the peanut butter version of the snacks on Tuesday, due to trace amounts of undeclared fish allergen.
One conference attendee sipping a banana-flavored shake joked about its less-than-appetizing appearance: "Yeah, I know I'm taking risks here. But I'm into high risk."
What Reuters filed to report was the disembodied husky whisper of an old man that sounded oddly like Carl Icahn echoing outside the pavilion, saying "Drink it, you naive assclown, drink it ALL down."