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After Surveying A World Plunged Into Perpetual Chaos And Fear Jon Corzine Decides To Start Managing Money Again

Because when nothing makes sense, anyone can do fucking anything.

Tesla is worth more than Ford, The Cubs are World Champs, Roseanne is coming back to network television and Donald Trump is the leader of the free world. Suddenly, the idea of Jon Corzine running a hedge fund again doesn't seem so crazy.


Well, actually, it totally does...but that's not stopping him!

It has been years since the last major high note in Mr. Corzine’s career. In 2011, he faced the ignominy that came with the collapse of the brokerage firm he ran, MF Global, when about $1 billion of customer money temporarily went missing. It ranked as one of the largest Wall Street bankruptcies since Lehman Brothers’.
Now, here in his cramped office, Mr. Corzine is plotting his next and possibly final act: starting a hedge fund. And not just any hedge fund, but one designed to take advantage of the turmoil in the Trump era.

Now we're no experts when it comes to hedge fund marketing but we say you can't go wrong with a sales dek that starts off asking "The host of 'The Celebrity Apprentice' has his tiny hands on the nuclear codes and you won't give your money to Jon Corzine?"

But J-Corzo has this in the bag, you guys, and he seems to think that he won't misplace like hundreds of millions of dollars like last time...

After straddling the worlds of Washington and Wall Street for decades, Mr. Corzine, a liberal Democrat with a capitalist streak, argues that he is well suited for this strategy. He has mulled a hedge fund for years, ambitions first reported by The Times in 2012, and he believes that the populist movements sweeping the Western world (not just Trump, but “Brexit”) provide an opening.
“I think I can read between the lines more than a lot of people can on these issues,” he said last month, on the eve of a trip to raise money for his fund with wealthy investors.

And how is that inter-line reading going so far?

On a recent afternoon, however, he squeezed into a 100-square-foot office in the Flatiron district of Manhattan — no nameplate on the door — where a pair of Bloomberg terminals consumed much of the space. His eyes fixed on one, Mr. Corzine scribbled notes about his trades on a yellow legal pad as a computer chimed an imitation closing bell.
In the final seconds of trading, Mr. Corzine watched as a tiny sliver of his day’s profits slipped away, prompting him to utter a profanity or two and grumble about not ending the afternoon on more of “a high note.”

Corzine is BACK, BABY!

In Tumult of Trump, Jon Corzine Seeks a Wall Street Comeback [NYT]


Jon Corzine Knew This Day Would Come

He showed you...he showed all of you!

By US Federal Government [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The CFTC Will Never Have To Hear The Name ‘Jon Corzine’ Ever Again

Jersey Jon ponies up $5M to just go away...probably.

Not Everything Is Jon Corzine’s Fault, You Know

His lawyers would like you to know this.