Rejoice! Fed Stress Test Day is upon us! The day we get to learn which banks have all their ducks in a row and which will have to supplicate before the feet of the Great Yellen in order to regain their seat at the big boy table. This year's results are all the more consequential seeing as they're the last stress tests banks will ever have to face now that we live in Trump's America.
OK, that's an exaggeration. But if Steve Mnuchin's regulatory wishlist manages to turn into law, 2017's CCAR results are likely, at the very least, to be the last of the tough Obama-era variety. Which makes it all the more consequential that everyone passed:
Testings results released Thursday by the Federal Reserve show that the 34 institutions under scrutiny have enough capital to make it through the two scenarios regulators posed — one akin to the financial crisis and another entailing a shallower downturn.
Congrats, everyone! Isn't it nice when inconceivably complex regulatory matters can be conveyed in the same pass/not-pass grading system that college stoners rely on when they realize they've been too blitzed this semester to get anything better than a C-?
Anyway, tune back in for next week's installment, in which we learn who gets to shovel capital back to their shareholders.