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With Trump White House In Disarray, Lloyd Blankfein Looks To Refocus Gary Cohn

Once Lloyd figures out how to DM Gary, we can kiss his twitter account goodbye.

The carnival of clusterfucks that is The Trump Administration is truly set to outdo itself this week. Already beset by a president who can't stop pissily tweeting at foreign politicians and his own Justice Department like a thirsty unpopular tween boy trying to get attention from the cool girl who hates him, the White House is warily awaiting testimony from James Comey, aggressively playacting that it has real health care and tax reform legislation in the pipeline and still fending off obviously true rumors about endemic infighting and internal chaos.


But while the tire fire rages on, some inside the Trump Administration are trying push the message that this week is also "Infrastructure Week." One of those people is Gary Cohn, who is likely finding "Infrastructure Week" to be as popular and attention-grabbing as throwing a bake sale in the lobby of a methadone clinic on "Fentanyl Friday." It must be somewhat staggering for Gary to have a genuinely popular policy to push and no one to listen as the press and Congress sit back in wait of Comey's potential bombshells. In fact, the only thing that Gary has been able to concretely rollout so far is an air-traffic control privatization plan led by Ted Cruz, the congressional equivalent of a can't miss investment idea being marketed by Bill Cosby.

So what we're saying is that things are likely pretty fucking glum in the office of the office of National Economic Council Director's office today. But through the darkness comes a beam of light as an old friend sends a signal to Gary, reminding him to stay the course:

From the other side of the world, Lloyd is telling Gary to "Hang in there, you big lug and keep fighting the good fight despite that new boss who is obviously unfit for the job he has...kind of like when wey worked for Corzine."

Lloyd knows how to work Cohn like the Bullwinkle to his Rocky and this Twitter thing is his new medium to do so. In fact all three of Lloyd's tweets so far have been basically DMs to his former deputy. As we've said before ad nauseum, Goldman Sachs is not running this batshit cavalcade of White House mismanagement, but that doesn't mean Lloyd can't unsubtly tell Gary "Wassup" from time to time.

As for Dina on your own, girl.



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