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Bill Ackman Less Afraid Of Bloody Diarrhea Than He Is Of Losing Another Cent On His Chipotle Bet

We have evidence!

He hath tweeted!

We have titled this one: "When you cash out that dope-ass Burger King stake to show bae you love her, but then bae keeps giving everyone The Shits."



Bill Ackman's Pre-Nup With Chipotle Includes A Gag Order On Bill Ackman

The idea of "Silent Bill Ackman" is as easy to swallow as "Chill Bro Leon Cooperman."


Bill Ackman Thankful For Chipotle Burrito Bowls, Board Seat

The Ack-Man and the troubled burrito chain are finally settling for each other.


Carl Icahn Inadvertently Saves Chipotle's Trading Day By Getting A Little Carried Away Pranking Bill Ackman

In which we learn that there's a fine line between filling an office with queso and accidentally rigging a market.

Bill ackman beach

Bill Ackman Admits That He Is Contemplating Self-Harm

The Ack-Man is looking to make his death by Chipotle more literal.