If you're a second year analyst sitting at a Bloomberg terminal in a windowless part of 200 West Street being choked by your Double Windsor while throwing back cheap coffee and 5-Hour Energy to stave off the creeping exhaustion that comes from working 25-hours days and a life devoid of all fun and joy...You are clearly fucking do it wrong.
Gary's gone. Lloyd is on Twitter. Nice guy Marty Chavez is holding the purse strings. The tech guys are wearing sweatsuits to the office or some shit. And David Solomon is spinning Dubstep records at outdoor dance clubs in The Bahamas.
On a sunny afternoon in the Bahamas this month, dozens of beachgoers mingled and danced to a soundtrack mixed by a man using a Pioneer sound system on a platform at the local tiki bar.
Nothing was unusual about this island scene — except, perhaps, the disc jockey: David M. Solomon, the co-president of Goldman Sachs, possibly the most powerful investment bank in the world, was the man at the controls.
This is real. This isn't one of our dumb jokes about Lloyd making organic edibles in the executive kitchen. This is one of our dumb jokes COME TRUE.
In recent years, he has performed regularly as a D.J., according to associates, mixing and tweaking electronic dance music for a live audience. It is the sort of pursuit that could inspire guffaws among the executive’s 50-something peers while appealing to a younger generation of Wall Street talent that rejects the industry’s staid culture.
Mr. Solomon’s hobby has become a more or less monthly gig, with recent stops in New York, Miami and the Bahamas, all noted on the Instagram page. (Among the Manhattan venues where he has spun, according to the page, are Beautique in East Midtown and The Whales on Clinton Street.)
At this point, we're reasonably certain that Harvey Schwartz has a secret artisan pizza-making internship in Bushwick at the weekends. We blame all of this behavior on Goldman's obvious and deepening obsession with Millennials. You look at enough consumer trends and the next thing you know you're Wall Street's old man answer to deadMau5.
In fairness, Solomon's hobby does sound a lot like most management committee meetings at 200 West Street.
But a roughly 30-second clip shot during the performance on July 4 depicts Mr. Solomon, wearing a baseball cap with headphones over it and a T-shirt bearing the name of Casamigos Tequila, adjusting the music as women in bikinis and shirtless men wearing board shorts dance on a deck below. Speakers blast music from the roof of the club, which was holding its weekly pig roast that day.
All this scene really lacks in comparison is Pablo Salame rubbing butter on his naked writhing torso and murmuring "Client seeeeervices" while Edith Cooper wonders aloud if the Molly should have kicked in by now.
This is such a great and bizarre story that we don't even know how to end it. If only there was a detail too wondrous and silly that we could just throw it up and walk away...
Mr. Solomon has joined forces with some big names in the electronic-music business too. Earlier in the year, he performed several shows with the D.J. Liquid Todd, a SiriusXM radio personality. And Mr. Solomon’s Miami gig in March was part of the Paul Oakenfold Generations World Tour. Mr. Oakenfold, a Grammy-winning British D.J., helped popularize trance music in the 1990s.