If there's one thing Goldman Sachs is not familiar with, it's dealing with disappointment.
So perhaps we should not be too surprised to hear that when some Goldman Sachs traders got together recently to discuss why trading results at Goldman Sachs were hovering somewhere between "Severely disappointing" and "Deutsche Bank-esque," some comically bizarre details emerged. According to Bloomberg, Goldman's co-head of trading Pablo Salame convened a town hall in April to talk over why his group had performed historically poorly in Q1 2017, and ended up coining a rallying cry so perfect that its overall goofiness is matched only by its heinous cosmopolitanism.
Too often top clients are confronted with a tangle of fees from disparate desks that don’t work together, or they’re snubbed entirely attempting transactions deemed too small by a misguided trader, Salame, 51, told the gathering, one of the people said.
He said he was tired of losing. In an impassioned speech, Salame likened the problem to a regular at a restaurant who asks for butter on his steak, only to be rebuffed by penny-pinching chefs in the kitchen.
“Just add butter!” Salame implored his team.
Huzzah! A totally relatable allegory to everyone in that room, and a phrase that conjures imagery of slick, opaque, yellow liquid covering every existing relationship between Goldman Sachs and its trading clients. Mmm mmm gross.
You think it's dumb, do you? A rallying cry to which only the most devout diners at The Palm Tribeca would truly understand? Well don't tell Goldman traders, cuz they made hats, you guys.
The three-word slogan quickly became both a rallying cry and an internal joke, and blue baseball caps emblazoned with the phrase in white lettering were passed around -- reminders that are now scattered about trading desks on the fourth and fifth floors at Goldman’s headquarters in Manhattan, one of the people said.
We want one of these hats...very badly.