According to Axios' Dan Primack, Fidelity Investments has laid off "hundreds of employees" today.

While it's a bit weird to see this news on the heels of significant voluntary buyouts back in February and after a 2016 in which Fidelity rather crushed it, we would do well not to forget that Fidelity is a devout worshipper at the altar of margins, so some light cost-cutting could just be seen as a low-volume blood sacrifice. And if you're displeased with the analogy of Fidelity as ancient religious zealot, we will reply that they are based in Boston.

It's also intriguing to see Fidelity doing some consequential trimming right after news that the biggest loser in mutual fund management these days might very well be Goldman Sachs who cannot stem a steady stream of outflows and has also decided to let its trading woes be solved by the application of butter.

So if you're a recently axed Fidelity fund manager, grab a case of Land O' Lakes and send it alongside your resume to:

Goldman Sachs
c/o Whoever's "The New Gary Cohn"
200 West Street
New York, NY 10282

Best of luck.

Exclusive: Layoffs at Fidelity Investments [AXIOS]