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Famously Friendly Neighbor Lisa Maria Falcone Now Literally Sh!tting On The Hamptons

And just when we were about to give up The Hamptons being fun this summer.

We were just about to say that it's been a summer bereft of terrible behavior in The Hamptons.


Without drunken interns, little person-filled "charity" bacchanalias or a David Tepper ATM visit, we were getting borderline depressed about how boring life must be "Out East" this summer. But then - like a shiny, naturally doe-eyed angel - an old friend steps forward to rescue us from the doldrums of late August...

Socialite Lisa Maria Falcone is infuriating Hamptons residents by allowing her thoroughbred horses to freely “dump” on Gibson Beach in Sagaponack, while others are dutifully picking up after their dogs.

Lisa Maria, you've outdone yourself. Literally leaving pounds of shit for your neighbors is the kind of thing we'd celebrate using a prayer hands emoji if we were capable of such technology...or understood emojis.

A resident tells us that the fashionista wife of former hedge fund manager Phil Falcone will “bring eight horses in a truck and ride them on the beach and in the water from 6 p.m. until after sunset with her friends, and then leave without picking up the horse dung.”

You would think that she'd be interested in keeping some of that horseshit. After all, Halloween is right around the corner.

While cleaning up after the horses seems far too stinky for Lisa and pals, they do have time for the finer things.
“They even have a refreshment stand set up.”

Wilbur Falcone could not be reached for comment.

Hamptonites peeved after socialite refuses to pick up after her horses [PageSix]


Lisa Maria Falcone Had A Less Than Great Labor Day Weekend

It's no secret that one of our favorite hedge fund wives is Lisa Maria Falcone. Whether she's imploring bitches to throw their hands in air, hiring little people for her twin daughters' birthday party, spooning her pet pig, or simply flitting about town in outfits that go from gladiator chic to deconstructed "Like A Virgin," the woman is her own special brand of fabulous. LMF started keeping a considerably lower profile once her husband Phil's hedge fund hit a streak of bad luck though we always knew she'd be back. Unfortunately, we'd hoped the woman who does what she wants, haters of the Upper East Side be damned, would return with the news her production company was putting the finishing touches on Wilbur Falcone's debut album and not this: 2:25 p.m., 48-year-old Lisa Marie Falcone of Manhattan crashed her vehicle at the corner of Montauk Highway and Hayground Road in Bridgehampton, police said. She was found to be to be under the influence of alcohol and prescription medication, police said. Falcone...was charged with driving while intoxicated. Listen, lady: Throwing back a few cocktails when your closet is having two-for-one happy hour is one thing but getting loaded up on booze and pills and going for a drive is quite another. You could have hurt someone or yourself and then Phil would've had to raise Wilbur on his own. Is that what you want? 2 Charged With DWI Crashes in Hamptons [Long Island Press, mugshot via BI]


Secret Service Lazily Scours Hamptons For Confused Area Senior

If Wilbur Ross was as rich as he claims, this Silver Alert might have been upgraded to Gold.