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Opening Bell: 8.22.17

Lloyd Blankfein can't quit trolling Trump; Jeff Gundlach could use a friend right now; Steve Mnuchin's wife is apparently reprising her role as Marie Antoinette; and more.
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Goldman's Lloyd Blankfein seems to be making a habit out of trolling Trump (CNBC)
"Wish the moon wasn't the only thing casting a shadow across the country," Blankfein tweeted, without mentioning Trump by name. "We got through one, we'll get through the other."

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Investors Pull Back From Gundlach’s Biggest Fund at DoubleLine (WSJ)
As performance has slipped and the fund has shrunk, Mr. Gundlach, 57 years old, has turned combative, taking on the media and continuing to taunt a rival. Meanwhile, some within the firm are bracing for what could be a more challenging environment. Late last year and earlier this year, some at DoubleLine Capital’s offices in downtown Los Angeles say they were told bonuses might drop in 2017, according to people close to the matter. The firm says the guidance was aimed at creating a “pragmatic assessment” of 2017 after a big year in 2016.

Autonomous Said to Charge $1,000 a Stock Report Before MiFID II (BBG)
The London-based firm’s prices start at $1,000 for a single stock report and climb to $5,000 for high-end industry research, the people said, asking not to be identified because the information is private. Autonomous Research, which specializes in analysis of financial companies, also charges a single user $5,000 for access to its daily round-up of news and analysis, with the price per client falling as more sign up, the people said.

No one wants to work at Oppenheimer & Co. since new exec started (NYP)
Wall Street’s newest recruits at Oppenheimer & Co. are “running for the doors,” as the son of the bank’s boss has laid off analysts and delayed promotions, The Post has learned. Robert Lowenthal, the son of 71-year-old Chairman and CEO Albert “Bud” Grinsfelder Lowenthal, has been swinging the ax at Oppenheimer’s investment-banking division since he took it over, along with the bank’s bond-trading operations in December, sources said.

Police Seize Yuuuge Stash Of Donald Trump-Shaped Ecstasy Pills (HuffPo)
On Saturday night, officers in Osnabrück looked inside a van during a random traffic stop and uncovered a stash of 5,000 ecstasy pills which were pressed into the shape of the president’s head. The commander in chief’s face was stamped on the front and the word “Trump” appeared on the back.

Even Business Leaders Who Abandoned Trump’s Councils May Not Stray Far (NYT)
The resignation en masse was symbolic. Importantly symbolic. But nothing more. Lest anyone believe that the business world has collectively gotten up from the table and washed its hands of Washington and the Trump administration, think again. Companies will continue to advocate their positions, forcefully, in person and through lobbying groups. The only difference is that they won’t be sitting in meetings described as “councils” with cameras and photo opportunities.

Tesla Bonds Tumble in Sign of Concern Over Finances (WSJ)
The Palo Alto, Calif., company sold $1.8 billion of low-rated bonds on Aug. 11 to help pay for the Model 3, its first mass-market car. Tesla took advantage of investors’ thirst for higher-yielding securities, selling debt at an annual yield of 5.3%—more than 3 percentage points above comparable Treasurys. But many investors sat out the deal, questioning the wisdom of buying bonds from a company that hasn’t turned an annual profit and is drastically increasing its spending in a bid to break into the capital-intensive auto market.

Are Long-Term Investors the Market’s True Gamblers? (WSJ)
To politicians and voters, “investors” carry on the noble work of capitalism, while “speculators” are no better than gamblers who treat share prices the same way as racing odds. A new study suggests the caricature has it backward. The most speculative of speculators, it turns out, make their money when the companies they gamble on have good fundamentals—the cornerstone of what we traditionally think of as investing. And those who think of themselves as the most fundamentalist of fundamental investors make most of their money when the luck of the markets pushes prices up, absent improving company financials.

ADP CEO says Bill Ackman, on phone call, refused to meet because he needed 'leverage' over board (CNBC) "I said, 'Well, when you're ready, we'll meet, whether it's late August, September,'" Rodriguez continued about his call with Ackman. "And he said, 'I'm afraid that's not going to work because that's not the way my business works. I have to have the leverage over the threat of launching a proxy contest in order to get you guys to agree to the things that I want to do with the company.'"

Louise Linton’s Couture Draws Ire on Instagram, and She Lashes Back (NYT)
The wife of the Treasury secretary on Monday night took a page from President Trump’s social media playbook for punching down. Louise Linton, the labels-loving wife of Steven Mnuchin, replied condescendingly to an Instagram poster about her lifestyle and belittled the woman, Jenni Miller, a mother of three from Portland, Ore., for having less money than she does.


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Opening Bell: 6.12.17

Lloyd Blankfein trolls and is trolled; Travis Kalanick might be taking a little sabbatical; sometimes you have to eat a book on live television; and more.

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Opening Bell: 2.9.17

Lloyd Blankfein thinks everything is just fine; Steve Young is good at finance; Steve Bannon's Nazi-abortion-mutant film resurfaces; and more.

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Opening Bell: 4.24.17

Why Goldman whiffed its earnings; how Travis Kalanick earned a tongue-lashing from Tim Cook; meet hoverboard dentist; and more.


Opening Bell: 3.6.17

What it feels like to be the other Snap; Citi says sell; that time Steve Mnuchin's toy terrier met Dog the Bounty Hunter; and more.


Opening Bell: 6.2.17

Lloyd Blankfein discovers Twitter; Blue Apron needs some cash, quick; no, you can't marry your laptop (yet); and more.

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Opening Bell: 6.7.17

Santander gives in to Popular demand; Lloyd Blankfein's Twitter game is...odd; shareholder activism taken to its goriest limit; and more.


Opening Bell: 6.14.17

Jeff Gundlach would like you to please panic now; sentient humans make up just 10 percent of stock trading; apparently the old I'm-only-shoplifting-as-a-sociological-experiment excuse doesn't fly anymore; and more.

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Opening Bell: 2.23.17

Mnuchin is optimistic; Einhorn, his wife and their putative pot of gold to split; Swedes want conjugal visits at work; and more.