The Mooch Will Enter A Temporary Cocoon Of Sadness And Growth In Order To Reemerge As The Mooch

He's just going to learn how to say "Off-the-record" and forget how to say "cock."

Even we think the last few days have been cosmically unfair to Anthony Scaramucci.


There's no need to recap what went down as we have all gone over it a number of times by now, but we can sprinkle the info that Chuck Schumer is looking to fuck over The Mooch's SkyBridge sale by asking the Trump Administration to block large Chinese investments in the U.S. until Beijing moves on north Korea like a bitch. It's just the latest piece of shitty news that must have The old Mooch thinking that fate is trying to cock block him.

But, hey, this is THE MOOCH we're talking about here, and being publicly humiliated on an almost unprecedented level while your marriage falls apart is just the widest rabbit hole that Anthony Scaramucci has yet to hop over. And while he is pretty pissed that his Suffolk County paisan Ryan Lizza did him dirty, The Mooch told HuffPo that he isn't down and out, he's just in need of rest and reinvention.

And no one knows how to do second acts like The Mooch.

So what are you going to do next, I asked him.
“I am now going to go dark,” he said.
And then?
“Then I will reemerge.” He paused. “As me.”

SALT 2018 is going to be so fucking amazing BRO!

Why The Mooch Lost His Cool [HuffPo]