Whitney Tilson is retiring from the hedge-fund industry. He is doing this because when he loses money for other people—by, say, selling everything on the reasonable assumption that Donald Trump’s election presages the end times, only to be met by a completely unreasonable market surge—it makes him feel bad.
This does not, however, mean that Whitney Tilson is retiring; far from it. After all, Tilson’s visibility always outstripped his assets, which topped out at $180 million seven years ago. The dude’s not made of money, and what money he has is shrinking at an alarming pace (down 8% this year). So he needs a job. Several, preferably, and all well-paying.
Mr. Tilson, who managed money for more than 18 years, is expected to continue investing his own assets and may serve on corporate boards or as a consultant, according to a letter he sent to friends Thursday.
“My goal is to find opportunities that are personally interesting, give me the chance to collaborate with great people, and are sufficiently remunerative,” he wrote.
So regulation is out, and not just because President Shit-For-Brains wouldn’t hire one of his most caustic critics. But Tilson’s also awesome at shilling for vacation properties and consumer electronics, if anyone should have any seven-figure-plus gigs doing either.