Lloyd Blankfein Preemptively Assigning Blame For Empty Future Goldman London HQ

It’s not like he’s the one who voted to make that office (and the country it sits in) redundant.

There are now 16 months and 30 days left to complete the most complicated divorce negotiations in history. So how are those Brexit talks going? Better, sure, but not great, for while occasionally confused lead British dealmaker David Davis crowed last month on several “decisive steps forward,” those steps did not include any mention of Britain’s alimony payments to the EU or whether it will have to listen to the European Court of Justice and the like, on which one imagines decisive steps forward will be difficult to achieve. Certainly, the European Parliament isn’t impressed, telling Davis that his “decisive steps forward” are not the same as the “sufficient progress” it needs to see before beginning to talk about not building a giant tariff wall down the middle of the English Channel.


All of this decisive lack of progress is weighing on one man, and that man is Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein. You see, Blankfein’s bank decided to build a fancy new European headquarters in—you guessed it—London, back before the British people decided they didn’t want London to be in Europe anymore. In that distant, distant past, which is now about as distant from today as the U.K.’s unceremonious departure from the EU at the end of March 2019, Lloyd dreamed of 6,000 Elect extending Goldman’s global domination across the European continent from 1.1 million square feet on Farringdon Street—occupancy starting around, well, March 2019.

Since then, of course, he’s had to make someotherplans. But he’d really prefer not to use the out clause in his Farringdon lease that will allow Goldman to rent only half a cubicle to house its last London-based employee. How worried is Blankfein? Well, just look at his Twitter feed. While he generally uses his weekly-or-less 140-characters on such anodyne banalities as wishing Warren Buffett a happy birthday and bragging about having gone to Harvard and wishy-washy takes on bitcoin, he’s dedicated the last two to some not-terribly-subtle messages to U.K.’s fearless leaders.

In other words, figure this thing out quick or I’ll have to continue to pretend to like Frankfurt, which no one does, while you turn this giant boondoggle into the biggest unemployment office in the world.

Goldman CEO has high hopes for London HQ post-Brexit, much outside his control [Reuters]
Goldman Sachs CEO ‘hopes’ to fill new London HQ with staff post-Brexit [Independent]
Blankfein Brexit Tweet Reveals Worry London Desks to Stay Empty [Bloomberg]


Lloyd Blankfein Finally Gets To Be The Prettiest Girl At The Ball

Time was, Jamie Dimon was the most popular CEO on Wall Street and America's "Least Hated Banker," for reasons that included the fact that the man has soulful blue eyes, charisma out the ass, and was in charge of one of the banks that a) didn't go out of business during the financial crisis, like Lehman and Bear and b) supposedly didn't actually need the bailout money the government made it take (as JD has said previously), like Bank of America and Citigroup. The man, in the hearts of many and especially the adoring press, could do no wrong. Which is why it probably stung a lot that Lloyd Blankfein, a Wall Street CEO who also possesses more charm than a person would know what do do with, who was also in charge of a bank that neither went out of business during the financial crisis nor required the bailout money it was forced to take (according to GS), and who is also the owner of a pair of baby blues, though in his case ones that sparkle, could only do wrong. And while LB is not one to gloat at another's misfortune, especially that of a friend, he's obviously feeling pretty good about being living proof of the old saying, "only one Wall Street CEO's balls can be in a vise at a time," and right now it's JD's turn. Dimon did not attend the annual Robin Hood Foundation party [last night], but Blankfein was there, enjoying a rare night out of the spotlight. He shook hands, introduced his wife and, grinning broadly, posed for pictures. For months, Goldman Sachs has been portrayed as the callous Wall Street behemoth whose executives collected giant bonuses while America's housing crisis worsened and unemployment rose. But Monday night was different. "No one cares about Lloyd tonight. It is Jamie against the world, and that's got to feel good for Lloyd," another hedge fund manager said. And this is just the beginning. First, they stop calling you Satan and claiming you poisoned their food, next glowing profiles and cover stories devoting major column inches to your rippling biceps and the throngs of women you beat off with a stick. Dimon Pushes Blankfein Off Hot Seat At Charity Gala [Reuters] Robin Hood Scene: Blankfein, Soros, Rihanna [Bloomberg/Photo]