Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong If Elon Musk Is Chosen To Rebuild Puerto Rico's Power Grid

A new Puerto Rican bond issue predicated on Messianic faith in Elon seems like a can't miss!

As we've learned recently, things in Puerto Rico are going pretty great, Elon Musk is infallible, and humans interacting on social media can only result in furthering of the greater good.

So, have we got some good news for you!

Hooray, Lord Elon is quasi-considering devoting whatever is left of his "free time" to saving whatever is left of Puerto Rico's energy infrastructure. It would be a miracle of miracles if our epoch's most important industrial genius was actually allowed to follow through on this. But Elon doesn't come cheap and Puerto Rico is kind of broke, and also President Trump is totally handling this in a way that literally everyone is applauding. Sadly, it seems like this is just a beautiful pipe dream...

'Tis a righteous day indeed! Elon and Rossello are going to talk, which is pretty much like ssaying this is a done deal. Listen guys, all Puerto Rico has to do is raise a little money through a bond issue to fund this project, then put it all in the hands of Elon and his guys who will jump all over it when they're not focused on Model 3 production, solar panel proliferation, high speed train tunnels and space rockets.

And while you might say that this plan sounds a little shaky, we say that Puerto Rico is about to have its debt "Wiped out" (we know what that means even if you don't) and that Elon will get this done because he never overpromises and always delivers. In fact, we see Puerto Rico's new power grid being so dope that it becomes the envy of the world and makes things better than they were before the storm, and we see the bond issue soaring like one of those SpaceX rockets...


OK, bad example.