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Opening Bell: 11.2.17

Janet who?; SEC tells celebs not to hawk cryptocurrencies; Guggenheim might have done a little self-dealing; CDOs are back again, again, baby; Osama bin Laden was a 9/11 truther?; and much more.

Trump to Tap Jerome Powell as Next Fed Chairman (WSJ)
Mr. Powell’s nomination would mark the first time in nearly four decades that a new president hasn’t asked the serving Fed leader to stay on for another term, even though that person was nominated by a president of a different party. The last time a first-term president didn’t do that was in 1978, when President Jimmy Carter chose G. William Miller to succeed Arthur Burns.

Jay Powell

S.E.C. Warns Celebrities Endorsing Virtual Money (NYT)
So far this year, some 270 projects have raised over $3 billion by selling new currencies to investors. The vast sums of money have drawn in celebrities, like the socialite Paris Hilton and the rapper the Game, who have promoted particular projects, generally in exchange for a payment of some sort. The S.E.C. said in a statement released on Wednesday afternoon that celebrities who promoted coin offerings could be violating multiple laws, including antifraud regulations and rules that govern investment brokers.

Guggenheim faces allegations of self-dealing (FT)
“Internally, we were told from people working for the top managers stuff like: ‘Hey, this is a Mark Walter transaction’, or ‘This is a Scott Minerd transaction’, which basically meant don’t ask too many questions and just approve the deal,” says a former senior employee who used to handle conflicts. “We just had to take the boss’s word . . . That wasn’t the case for other standard transactions.”

As Credit Booms, Citi Says Synthetic CDOs May Reach $100 Billion (BBG)
“It would seem as if the low spread-low vol environment, similar to back in 2006-2007 (when investors couldn’t get enough of levered synthetic tranches) has revived some interest in portfolio credit risk,” Citigroup analysts led by Aritra Banerjee wrote. “Investors may not have necessarily wanted to add leverage, but, simply put, they have had to, given the lack of alternatives.”

Tesla's Nightmare Before Christmas (BBG Gadfly)
What we have brewing here is a credibility problem. This has lurked in the background for a while, with various missed targets on sales, capex or whatnot.But the Model 3 is far more important than any of these because it is supposed to generate the vast majority of medium-term cash flows underpinning the valuation models supporting Tesla's high-flying stock; and it is the key test of the company's oft-touted manufacturing and design skill.So when Musk demurred on giving a current production figure because "people read too much into it," he was rather missing the point. SEE ALSO: Elon Musk Just Yelled 'SHAME' At A Bunch Of Journalists

Goldman jokes, takes 'bites' out of pizza to attract borrowers (Reuters)
The Wall Street bank is trying to court Main Street borrowers saddled with credit card debt through its recently launched personal loan platform Marcus, which it says charges borrowers principal and interest, but not fees. The Goldman-sponsored comedy show featured members of Chicago’s famed Second City comedy troupe and menu items like “truffle macaroni & fees,” “steak and gorgonzola fee-zza” and drink specials including “fee’d up gimlet.”

Eugenics 2.0: We’re at the Dawn of Choosing Embryos by Health, Height, and More (Technology Review)
Genomic Prediction says it will only report diseases—that is, identify those embryos it thinks would develop into people with serious medical problems. Even so, on his blog and in public statements, Hsu has for years been developing a vision that goes far beyond that. “Suppose I could tell you embryo four is going to be the tallest, embryo three is going to be the smartest, embryo two is going to be very antisocial. Suppose that level of granularity was available in the reports,” he told the conservative YouTube personality Stefan Molyneux this spring. “That is the near-term future that we as a civilization face. This is going to be here.”

The 42 Weirdest Movies on Osama bin Laden's Computer (Gizmodo)
As Ciazarn points out on Twitter, there’s a file on the list called LooseChange2.flv. Loose Change is the tremendously popular conspiracy theory film that claims the attacks of September 11, 2001 were an inside job orchestrated by the US government and George W. Bush, and not perpetrated by anyone affiliated with Osama bin Laden. What a bizarre world we live in.

Slow Down, Buddy: This 25-Year-Old Who Moved To NYC 4 Months Ago Just Wrote A 1,500-Word Facebook Post About How New Yorkers Stand Together In The Face Of Terror (Clickhole)

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Jay Powell

Opening Bell: 10.30.17

It's (probably) gonna be Powell; this week is going to be nuts; whatever happens, buy the dip; how to survive getting locked in a beer cooler; and much more.

guggenheim

Opening Bell: 9.20.17

Guggenheim is in hot water; bitcoin's split could split again; quit your hedge fund and run for governor; a "Mad Pooper" is terrorizing Colorado; and more.

(Getty Images for New York Times)

Opening Bell: 2.8.17

Druckenmiller buys something shiny; hedge fund scams 9/11 heroes; Harambe-shaped cheeto attracts $100k; and more.

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Opening Bell: 11.7.17

Ray Dalio's number-two is reportedly kinda handsy; Forbes says Wilbur Ross lied to them about being a billionaire for years; Dick Fuld is back, baby; Bjork wants to give you cryptocurrency; and more.

By Trailmixers (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Opening Bell: 3.24.17

Guy Gentile is the hero America needs right now; finance is back, baby; for sale: baby teeth, in taco; and more.

SEC_CAT2

Opening Bell: 9.21.17

The SEC got hacked; Mark Zuckerberg is on a transcontinental mission to prove he isn't weird; Chick-fil-A is building a 5-story 9/11-themed restaurant in FiDi; and more.

Snap founders Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy

Opening Bell: 5.12.17

Millennial investors are ditching Snap; J. Peterman from Seinfeld is hawking a questionable IPO; the lengths we go for beer; and more.

By Nordenfan (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Opening Bell: 1.31.17

Deutsche settles mirror mess; Buffet buys stocks, gives wife colander to puke in; Saudi prince fills plane with hawks; and more.