Opening Bell: 12.15.17

JPMorgan likes the look of that there stock market; Deutsche Bank misses having the dirtiest bank in the world as its customer; maybe low wages lead to slow productivity, not vice versa?; finance bros dig crystals now; and more.
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JPMorgan Sees S&P 500 Hitting 3,000, Warns on Tech Stocks (BBG)
The strategist sees large-cap tech, the group that’s done the heavy lifting in a 2017 rally that’s added 18 percent to the S&P 500, turning into a laggard next year. Tech stocks in the index have surged 37 percent so far this year, pushing valuations to the highest level in eight years. They account for almost one-quarter of the measure by weighting. “Strong fundamentals but rich valuation, crowded positioning and tax reform rotation are a significant potential headwind.”

Tax Overhaul Would End Company Breaks for Executive Pay (WSJ)
More than a quarter—28%—of executives had taxable compensation above the $1 million limit, according to Kevin Murphy, a finance professor at the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business. That figure would rise to 70% under the proposed rules, partly because finance chiefs, previously excluded, would now be included.

How Deutsche Bank Enabled A Dirty Offshore Bank To Move Dark Money (BuzzFeed)
Deutsche carried on approving the Cyprus bank’s dollar transactions for decades even as red flags piled up and another Western banking giant cut ties. It withdrew its services with “extreme regret” only after the US government accused FBME of facilitating money laundering for “weapons proliferators, terrorists, and transnational organized criminals” in 2014.

The FCC Just Killed Net Neutrality. Now What? (Wired)
Broadband providers say the public has nothing to worry about. AT&T, Comcast, and Verizon, among others, have promised not to block or throttle content. But those promises leave internet providers with quite a bit of room to prioritize their own content, or content from their partners. AT&T, for example, already allows its DirecTV Now video-streaming service to bypass mobile subscribers’ data limits. Verizon does much the same with its Go90 video service. Netflix, on the other hand, still counts towards data caps. The end of the FCC’s current rules will allow companies to expand the ways they prioritize certain services over others.

What’s Stifling Pay Raises Is Also Curbing Economic Growth (NYT)
The Industrial Revolution could not have taken place without the invention of the steam engine, but it took the relatively high cost of labor in Britain to nudge business owners to find clever ways to use steam to cut their labor costs. A century later America, rich in land and resources but short of labor, developed its own style of manufacturing, even more productive than Britain’s, which helped make the U.S. the world’s richest economy. Just as expensive oil encourages us to wring more utility out of each gallon of gas, high wages encourage companies to make the most of their work forces — and to make full use of whatever new technologies promise to economize on payroll. It is not the technology which is at fault, but the incentives firms face to use it that are letting us down.

Bitcoin’s fractioning problem (FT Alphaville)
Here’s a thought experiment. If I purchase 0.000,000,001 of a bitcoin from Kadhim for $100, should the value of one bitcoin now be considered to be $100bn per bitcoin? If not why not? Ah, you say. Because the vast majority of buyers would not be prepared to buy for that absurd valuation. But here’s the thing. Are the vast majority of “buyers” really prepared to buy for the current valuation? Or are they simply thinking in dollars worth rather than in bitcoin’s worth? ALSO: Have cryptoassets created $0.5 trillion in social value?

FTAV Person of Interest 2017: The Longlist (Alphaville)
ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI: Pity the historians who have to explain how a bumptious frat boy from the Kappa Theta Davos chapter came to tongue-shine his way into the White House for just long enough to deliver the office’s first official position on autofellatio. Of all the batshit crazy happenings in the Trump presidency, Mooch’s ten-day stint as Director of Comms will surely rank somewhere near the middle.

Are Walmart’s New Ways to Help Employees Pay Bills a Way to Hold Off Raises? (24/7 Wall St)
Most Americans who make more than the $10 an hour minimum wage do not have to pull money forward to cover their daily expenses. Their base pay is enough to cover these expenses without a very short-term loan. The “financial wellness services” are a means to hold wages low. Walmart does not merely pay these people low wages. It reasons that unskilled labor does not carry enough business value to pay the people more. And, based on Walmart’s margins and the large number of unskilled people it employs, the programs may be the best and most the retailer will do to aid its associates.

Wall St. bros are really into crystal healing now (NYPost)
“I was seeking a deeper purpose, but I was blocked,” says Hill, a Riverdale, Bronx, native, of his realization. So, four years ago, he turned to crystals for help, dropping tens of thousands of dollars on rocks and selling off most of his possessions, including the majority of his 35 suits and a Rolex Explorer watch, to fund his new habit. He went on a spiritual retreat in Brazil, gave up his apartment in the Meatpacking District and now spends much of his time in the Venice section of Los Angeles.

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Opening Bell: 02.19.13

SAC’s Cohen May Face SEC Suit as Deposition Hurts Case (Bloomberg) U.S. investigators have subpoenaed a 2011 deposition of SAC Capital Advisors LP founder Steven Cohen, whose sworn statements on insider-trading compliance may hurt him as he tries to persuade regulators not to file a lawsuit with the potential to shut his $14 billion firm. The SEC told the hedge fund Nov. 20 that it planned to sue SAC for securities fraud and so-called control-person liability for failing to supervise employees. The same day, the agency accused an ex-SAC portfolio manager and his hedge-fund unit of insider trading for persuading Cohen, 56, to make $700 million in illegal trades. Prosecutors also indicted the manager. Cohen’s testimony, reviewed by Bloomberg News, establishes his personal control over the unit, CR Intrinsic, and records his unfamiliarity with his firm’s compliance and ethics policies on insider trading. “I’ve read the compliance manual, but I don’t remember exactly what it says,” Cohen said. Morgan Stanley Strives to Coordinate 2 Departments Often at Odds (Dealbook) Traditionally, traders and investment bankers think of themselves as the elite of Wall Street and look down on the retail business, seeing it as pedestrian...Yet since Morgan Stanley moved to acquire control of the Smith Barney brokerage business from Citigroup in 2009, the balance of power has shifted to wealth management, which now accounts for almost 52 percent of the company’s earnings, up from roughly 16 percent in 2006. Paulson Leads Funds to Bermuda Tax Dodge Aiding Billionaires (Bloomberg) A decade after the U.S. Internal Revenue Service threatened to crack down on what it said were abuses by hedge-fund backed reinsurers, more high-profile money managers are setting up shop in tax havens. Paulson, SAC Capital Advisors LP’s Steven A. Cohen and Third Point LLC’s Daniel Loeb have started Bermuda reinsurance companies since 2011, following a similar Cayman Islands venture by Greenlight Capital Inc.’s David Einhorn. Options Activity Questioned Again (WSJ) Over the past year, unusually large positions were established shortly in advance of news that moved shares of Nexen Inc., Youku Inc., Human Genome Sciences Inc., Constellation Brands Inc. and, most recently, CBS Corp. All turned profitable after the news. A spokeswoman for the SEC, which regulates stock and options trading, said the agency would neither confirm nor deny the existence of inquiries into trading tied to those companies. No charges have been filed in the Heinz case, which was linked to a Swiss trading account, but the move to freeze the assets is one of the fastest enforcement actions ever filed by the agency, according to officials. The SEC said Friday that the timing and size of the trades were highly suspicious given the account had no history of trading in Heinz securities in the last six months. Prosecutors, Shifting Strategy, Build New Wall Street Cases (Dealbook) Criticized for letting Wall Street off the hook after the financial crisis, the Justice Department is building a new model for prosecuting big banks. In a recent round of actions that shook the financial industry, the government pushed for guilty pleas, rather than just the usual fines and reforms. Prosecutors now aim to apply the approach broadly to financial fraud cases, according to officials involved in the investigations...The new strategy first materialized in recent settlements with UBS and the Royal Bank of Scotland, which were accused of manipulating interest rates to bolster profit. As part of a broader deal, the banks’ Japanese subsidiaries pleaded guilty to felony wire fraud. Russians Wade Into the Snow to Seek Treasure From the Sky (NYT) Ever since the meteor exploded somewhere over this impoverished Siberian town, Larisa V. Briyukova wondered what to do with the fist-size stone she found under a hole in the roof tiles of her woodshed. On Monday, a stranger knocked on her door, offering about $60, Ms. Briyukova said. After some haggling, they settled on a price of $230. A few hours later, another man pulled up, looked at the hole in the roof and offered $1,300. “Now I regret selling it,” said Ms. Briyukova, a 43-year-old homemaker. “But then, who knows? The police might have come and taken it away anyway.” On Friday, terror rained from the skies, blowing out windows and scaring people over an enormous swath of Siberia. But by Monday, for many people what fell from the sky had turned to pure gold, and it touched off a rush to retrieve the fragments, many buried in deep February snows. Many of those out prospecting looked a lot like Sasha Zarezina, 8, who happily plunged into a snowbank here in this village of a thousand, laughing, kicking and throwing up plumes of powdery snow. Then she stopped, bent over and started to dig. “I found one!” she yelled. A warm breath and a rub on her pants later, a small black pebble, oval like a river rock, charred and smooth, was freed of ice. While trade in material from meteorites is largely illegal, there is a flourishing global market, with fragments widely available for sale on the Internet, usually at modest prices. At least one from the recent meteor was available on eBay on Monday for $32, and there is a Web site called Star-bits.com devoted to the trade — much to the displeasure of scientists and the countries where the objects were found. UK's Lloyds fined $6.7 million for mis-sold insurance (Reuters) Britain's financial regulator on Tuesday fined Lloyds Banking Group 4.3 million pounds ($6.7 million) for failing to handle complaints relating to insurance sold on loans and mortgages properly. The Financial Services Authority (FSA) said failings in the bank's systems and controls resulted in up to 140,000 customers experiencing delays in receiving compensation for being mis-sold payment protection insurance (PPI). Horsemeat Scandal Draws in Nestlé (FT) Switzerland-based Nestle on Monday removed pasta meals from shelves in Italy and Spain and suspended deliveries of all processed products containing meat from German supplier, H.J. Schypke, after tests revealed traces of horse DNA above 1 per cent. Nestle said it had informed the authorities. Is Berlusconi Getting a Poll Bounce From Tax Evaders? (CNBC) The media mogul, who has been convicted of tax fraud, has promised to introduce a tax amnesty for evaders if elected and to abolish the real estate tax. Swelling U.S. Labor Force Keeps Fed at Ease (Bloomberg) In the short run, the larger labor force will have an unfortunate side effect: It will slow the fall in unemployment. Mellman sees the jobless rate dropping to 7.5 percent by year- end from 7.9 percent now. It fell 0.7 percentage point in 2012. In the longer run, a bigger supply of labor is good news because it swells the pool of Americans available and willing to work, enhancing the economy’s potential to grow, according to Julie Hotchkiss, a policy adviser at the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta. It also has a silver lining for investors. The gradual fall in unemployment will allow policy makers to keep monetary policy looser for longer without having to worry about igniting a wage- driven rise in inflation. Couple Getting Affectionate Drive Through Home (WO) "She told the investigating trooper that her and the boyfriend were getting a little amorous and the trooper suspects that's probably why she lost control of the vehicle," said Florida Highway Patrol spokeswoman Kim Montes. Walker lost control of the vehicle and slammed into an unoccupied home. The vehicle went all the way through the house. The impact was so dramatic, the pressure blew a window in another part of the house out. Florida Highway Patrol troopers said Walker was injured when debris fell inside the vehicle. She was taken to Halifax Medical Center to be checked out. Her boyfriend, Charles Phillips, was not hurt.

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Opening Bell: 9.10.20

Don’t deposit your illegally-obtained stimulus money in your bank account with your employer; TikTok, Trump look for face-savings; Paul Singer thinks maybe oil company shouldn’t sell itself; fleeces very nearly coming to Flushing; and more!

Opening Bell: 01.17.13

Charges Weigh On Bank Of America's Profit (WSJ) Overall, Bank of America reported a profit of $732 million versus a profit of $1.99 billion a year earlier. On a per-share basis, which includes the payment of preferred dividends, the bank reported earnings of three cents versus 15 cents a year earlier. The most recent period included a per-share impact of 16 cents from the Fannie Mae settlement, a six cent impact from the foreclosure review and litigation expense of five cents a share, among other items. Revenue dropped 25% to $18.66 billion as noninterest income fell 41%. Excluding $700 million of debit valuation and fair value option adjustments, and $3 billion for the cost of $3 billion, revenue was $22.6 billion. Citigroup Earnings Miss Analysts’ Estimates on Litigation (Bloomberg) Net income climbed 25 percent to $1.2 billion in the fourth quarter, or 38 cents a share, from $956 million, or 31 cents, a year earlier, the New York-based lender said today in a statement. Earnings adjusted for one-time items including restructuring costs were 69 cents a share. Twenty-one analysts surveyed by Bloomberg estimated 96 cents on average, with some items Citigroup didn’t include. Chief Executive Officer Michael Corbat, 52, took over in October and last month announced plans to eliminate about 11,000 employees and pull back from some emerging markets, undoing part of the expansion strategy of his predecessor, Vikram Pandit. Litigation costs included $305 million from a settlement between U.S. banks and federal regulators, who were probing claims that lenders improperly seized homes. Goldman Profits By Going On Offensive (WSJ) The value of Goldman Sachs's investment portfolio doubled last year. Bond underwriting hit a five-year high. The firm's workforce shrank and remaining employees were paid a smaller chunk of overall revenue. Those were just some of the ingredients in a bigger-than-expected profit jump by the New York company, which said net income almost tripled to $2.83 billion in the fourth quarter from $1.01 billion a year earlier. Wednesday's results were packed with evidence of Goldman's discipline in cutting costs, taking less risk with its own money and riding out financial crises in the U.S. and then Europe. Goldman Agonized Over Pay Cuts as Profits Suffered (Reuters) Top executives at Goldman Sachs have been considering deep cuts to staffing levels and pay for at least two years, but feared too many layoffs would leave the firm unprepared for an eventual pickup in business, people familiar with the bank said. They instead chipped away at staff levels and focused on non-personnel expenses that are less painful to cut. But investors pressured the bank to cut costs further, the sources said, and on Wednesday, Goldman gave in. The largest standalone investment bank said in the fourth quarter it cut the percentage of revenues it pays to employees in half to 21 percent. That brings the ratio for the entire year to its second-lowest level since the bank went public in 1999. Fed Concerned About Overheated Markets Amid Record Bond-Buying (Bloomberg) Now, as central bankers boost their stimulus with additional bond purchases, policy makers from Chairman Ben S. Bernanke to Kansas City Fed President Esther George are on the lookout for financial distortions that may reverse abruptly when the Fed stops adding to its portfolio and eventually shrinks it. “Prices of assets such as bonds, agricultural land, and high-yield and leveraged loans are at historically high levels,” George said in a speech last week. “We must not ignore the possibility that the low-interest rate policy may be creating incentives that lead to future financial imbalances.” Estonian president’s Twitter fight with Paul Krugman becomes an opera (RS) A Twitter feud in June between the Estonian president and New York Times columnist Paul Krugman who questioned the impact of Estonia’s austerity measures, is being turned into an opera, US composer Eugene Birman told AFP on Wednesday. “Our short opera will be first performed by Iris Oja and the Tallinn Chamber Orchestra conducted by Risto Joost during Tallinn Music Week on April 7,” Birman, who moved from Riga to the US at age of six, told AFP. The piece, in two movements, uses two voices, those of Krugman and Estonian President Toomas Hendrik Ilves, reflecting their exchanges on the Twitter social network...The bow-tie loving Ilves went on a tweet-rant after Krugman, the winner of the 2008 Nobel Prize for Economics, argued in a short article entitled “Estonian Rhapsody” that while Estonia had been globally praised for its austerity measures, its recovery was in fact lukewarm. “Let’s write about something we know nothing about & be smug, overbearing & patronizing…Guess a Nobel in trade means you can pontificate on fiscal matters & declare my country a ‘wasteland,’” Ilves responded on his page on the on the micro-blogging site Twitter. “But yes, what do we know? We’re just dumb and silly East Europeans,” he added, before writing in his final tweet, “Let’s sh*t on East Europeans.” Deutsche Bank Derivative Helped Monte Paschi Mask Losses (Bloomberg) Deutsche Bank designed a derivative for Banca Monte dei Paschi di Siena SpA at the height of the financial crisis that obscured losses at the world’s oldest lender before it sought a taxpayer bailout. Germany’s largest bank loaned Monte Paschi about 1.5 billion euros ($2 billion) in December 2008 through the transaction, dubbed Project Santorini, according to more than 70 pages of documents outlining the deal and obtained by Bloomberg News. The trade helped Monte Paschi mitigate a 367 million-euro loss from an older derivative contract with Deutsche Bank. As part of the arrangement, the Italian lender made a losing bet on the value of the country’s government bonds, said six derivatives specialists who reviewed the files. BlackRock Net Jumps 24% (WSJ) The company said net inflows in long-term products totaled $47 billion at the year's end, reflecting equity, fixed income and multiasset class product net inflows of $31.2 billion, $12.4 billion and $4.1 billion, respectively. The net inflows were partially offset by alternatives net outflows of $700 million. Total assets under management were $3.792 trillion as of the end of the fourth quarter, versus $3.513 trillion a year earlier and $3.673 trillion in the third quarter. Jobless Claims Drop To 5-Year Low (Reuters) Initial claims for state unemployment benefits fell 37,000 to a seasonally adjusted 335,000, the lowest level since January 2008, the Labor Department said on Thursday. It was the largest weekly drop since February 2010. Khuzami defends corp. settlements (NYP) Robert Khuzami, the Securities and Exchange Commission’s enforcement chief, is on his way out the door — but he says in an interview with The Post that the agency’s much-maligned practice of settling cases is here to stay. Khuzami, 56, defended the SEC’s policy of allowing targets to settle cases — usually without an admission of wrongdoing — despite recent criticism. “There are certain myths about SEC practices, including how ‘neither admit nor deny’ works and why we use it,” said Khuzami, who is leaving his post after heading the agency’s crackdown on big banks following the financial crisis. “I speak out against these myths in the hope of reducing the level of cynicism felt by the public, which are often fueled by mischaracterizations or misunderstandings of how we operate.” Commissioners approve regulations governing sexy coffee stands (Kitsap Sun) Owners of adult-themed coffee stands in unincorporated Kitsap County will have to post signs warning would-be customers about their scantily-clad baristas, and they'll have to do more to protect passers-by from seeing into their businesses. That's according to an ordinance passed Monday in a unanimous vote of the Kitsap County commissioners. The stands have 60 days to comply with the changes, which include a site visit by county planning staff to check the signs are posted and additional screening is added...The ordinance requires adult espresso stands — the three existing stands and any new ones — to install an 8-foot-high fence or landscape buffer, approved by the county Department of Community Development, in front of windows that face the street or other businesses, blocking views by the public. Businesses also must receive a one-time certification from DCD to guarantee the regulations are met. A boiling point was hit more than a year ago when five stands — three of them within a half-mile stretch of Highway 303 — advertised employees in pasties and lingerie. Unhappy parents demanded commissioners regulate the businesses. The health department doesn't require clothing, instead it looks at whether employees have food handler permits, said Department of Community Development associate planner Heather Adams. The state Department of Labor and Industries also has no rules dictating required clothing at coffee stands, Adams said.

Opening Bell: 11.29.12

Blankfein: Seems Like "Fiscal Cliff" Deal Could Be "Reachable" (CNBC) Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein described President Barack Obama's plan for Washington to reach an agreement on the "fiscal cliff" as detailed and "very credible." However, he cautioned that marginal income tax rates may have to rise to seal a deal. In an interview with CNBC after meetings between the president and several CEOs, Blankfein said, of course, it's hard to tell if a deal will be reached but "if I were involved in a negotiation like this, and everybody was purporting to be where they are, I would say that an agreement was reachable." Blankfein said he thought concessions on both the revenue and entitlement sides would be necessary to reach a final deal to avert the fiscal cliff, when large spending cuts and tax increases are slated to take effect on Jan.1. “Look, at the end of the day, the most important value is to get the economy moving forward," Blankfein said. "That’s not going to happen if our budget deficit keeps widening.” He added that the marginal income tax rate may have to rise in order to reach a deal. “I would prefer as low of a marginal rate as possible because it’s the marginal rate that provides the incentive to do incremental work by people, but I’m not dogmatic — I wouldn’t go to the end for that,” he said. Blankfein: "We Can All Be Winners Here" (CNBC) "The most important thing is that we increase the wealth pie of the United States and that we don't reduce it. If we don't sort out our economy people will be fighting over their slice of a shrinking pie. I think we can all be winners here, even those pay a marginally higher rate, or a bigger proportion of revenue, if they are winners, as we all will be, because the economy is improving." Krugman: Fiscal Cliff Is No Way To Run A Country (HP) The Nobel Prize-winning economist expressed his frustration with the government's endless budget wrangling, especially over the so-called fiscal cliff, during a Wednesday interview with WNYC. "It's no way to run a country," Krugman said, referring specifically to the prospect of going over the cliff, a decision that would trigger a series of tax hikes and spending cuts next year, which would probably slow the economy. Given the options though, Krugman admits going over the cliff might be preferable to the likely alternatives. "There is nothing in there [the fiscal cliff] that is going to cause the economy to implode," Krugman said. "Better to go a few months into this thing if necessary than to have a panicked response or to give in to blackmail, which is certainly the question that's facing President Obama." In Krugman's view, the fiscal cliff "has nothing to do with the budget deficit," he added. "This is about a dysfunctional political process. It's about kind of a self-inflicted wound here." Krugman's not alone in his view that jumping over the cliff may be preferable to giving in to Congressional Republicans' demands. Peter Orszag, a former economic adviser to President Barack Obama, and Robert Greenstein, president of the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, have both said recently that the jumping off the cliff may end up the country's best option. Foreign Banks Rebuffed By Fed (WSJ) Daniel Tarullo, who is responsible for shaping banking policy at the Federal Reserve, said in a speech Wednesday that the central bank will require foreign banks with large U.S. operations to house their U.S. arms in corporate structures that comply with requirements under the Dodd-Frank Act. Mr. Tarullo didn't specify which foreign banks would need to adhere to the new structure. But the change would bring Germany's Deutsche Bank and the U.K.'s Barclays back under a regulatory regime they tried to escape through corporate restructurings. EU Clears Spanish Bank Rescue (WSJ) European Union regulators gave the green light to €37 billion ($47.9 billion) in euro-zone funding for Spain's stricken banking sector on Wednesday, setting in motion a long-term cleanup. In exchange, four nationalized banks agreed to make sharp cuts in their balance sheets and payrolls—a retrenchment that carries the risk of intensifying Spain's credit crunch in the midst of a deep recession. Argentina wins debt reprieve, default averted for now (Reuters) Argentina has won a reprieve against having to pay $1.33 billion next month to "holdout" investors who rejected a restructuring of its defaulted debt and have waged a long legal battle to be paid in full. A U.S. appeals court granted an emergency stay order on Wednesday that gives Argentina more time to fight a debt ruling favoring the holdout creditors and eases investor fears of a new default as early as next month. Last week, U.S. District Judge Thomas Griesa ordered Argentina to deposit the $1.33 billion payment by December 15 for investors who rejected two restructurings of bonds left over from its massive 2002 default. Drunk ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ singer wears Viking hat to court (Canada) The man who became a YouTube viral sensation for singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” from the back seat of an police cruiser, has been convicted of impaired driving and for refusing to take a breathalyser test. He went to court wearing a Viking hat, sunglasses and NASA T-shirt proclaiming, “I need my space.” He is being forced to pay a $1,400 fine and will be barred from driving for one year. The video footage was originally capture on the cruiser’s built-in camera. His passionate performance was used as evidence during his trial. Because his friends told him to, Robert Wilkinson, posted the video to YouTube where it gained nine million people watched it. Fed Likely To Keep Buying Bonds (WSJ) Three months after launching an aggressive push to restart the lumbering U.S. economy, Federal Reserve officials are nearing a decision to continue those efforts into 2013 as the U.S. faces threats from the fiscal cliff at home and fragile economies elsewhere in the world. Groupon CEO Says He Remains Right Person To Run Company (WSJ) FYI. World Economy in Best Shape for 18 Months, Poll Shows (Bloomberg) So that's nice. Actor Tim Allen’s Car Stolen By Man Claiming To Be Son (Fox2) To the untrained eye, actor Tim Allen’s 1996 Chevy Impala may not look like much, but with its custom engine and one of a kind interior, it’s worth a lot of money. America’s funnyman Tim Allen loved his car so much, he featured it in a YouTube commercial. The car was special, expensive, upgraded, and was also one of the superstar’s favorites. He even drove it to the People’s Choice Awards and mentioned it on stage when he won his award...So how did Allen’s prized possession make its way from his Los Angeles garage to a corner in Northeast Denver? Faustino Ibarra is facing charges for stealing it. “It’s a priceless vehicle.” Ibarra said to Fox 31 Denver’s Justin Joseph in an exclusive jailhouse interview. “I`m trying to make it simple for you to understand. I didn’t break into (Allen’s) garage. He left the door open and he left me the keys so I could get the car and take it to Denver.” Ibarra claims Allen adopted him years ago and that Allen had allowed him to take the car. “I emailed my dad the morning that I got the car in and everything is fine and I’ve got the car and it`s ready for you and we need to talk about me coming to live with you,” said the inmate. “What you say sounds a little crazy.” Joseph said. “I don`t care how it sounds, I know who I am. He knows who I am. He knows who he is,” Ibarra said. He denies that he has mental health issues and says no matter what anyone thinks, his alleged father, a superstar, will not pursue charges. “My dad loves the heck out of me. He’s ultra-proud of me and he wants to see the best for me in every way,” Ibarra told Joseph. FOX 31 Denver reached out to Allen’s publicist but did not hear back from Allen’s team. FOX 31 Denver also found no independent evidence that Ibarra was ever adopted by Allen.