For the last few months, we've been musing on the notion that Putin's Russia might have laundered money through the Trump Organization and that all the proof of it lies in Trump's vast and everlasting Deutsche Bank debt.
We love this idea so much because it combines two of our favorite icons of ineptitude, and - if true - it creates a near future in which the American experiment itself is imperiled because an out of control German bank kept giving dumb loans to a mentally pre-adolescent Midtown developer who never pays his debts and is now the leader of the Free World. And to top it all off, we are also pretty certain that neither Trump nor Deutsche is fully aware of how guilty they might actually be.
But it looks like Robert Mueller is looking to help them figure it out...
Special prosecutor Robert Mueller zeroed in on President Donald Trump’s business dealings with Deutsche Bank AG as his investigation into alleged Russian meddling in U.S. elections widens.
Mueller issued a subpoena to Germany’s largest lender several weeks ago, forcing the bank to submit documents on its relationship with Trump and his family, according to a person briefed on the matter, who asked not to be identified because the action has not been announced.
This is a fascinating development. Congressional democrats have had a very public hard-on to get their hands all over Trump's Deutsche accounts, and we can see why considering that the president treats his finances like a 14-year-old boy treats his browser history. But with things seeming to tighten around this White House, and John Cryan virtually incapable of paying out any more fines to the US government, this also feels like a really bad moment for the White House.
Even Deutsche Bank is making it clear that it will roll over without much effort.
“Deutsche Bank always cooperates with investigating authorities in all countries,” the lender said in a statement to Bloomberg Tuesday, declining to provide additional information.
Deutsche Bank management is ready to share information about the lender’s dealings with Trump and is hopeful that doing so will help end the series of inquiries from Democrats, an executive at the bank, who asked not to be identified discussing private deliberations, has previously told Bloomberg News.
An internal investigation carried out by Deutsche Bank didn’t yield any evidence of connections between the client relationship with Trump and the bank’s so-called Russian mirror trades affair, a person briefed on the matter said. The bank has settled several U.S. investigations into how it helped Russian clients move money out of the country but a settlement with the U.S. Department of Justice is still outstanding.
That's supposed to read like "We'll hand over whatever because according to our investigation there is nichts here," but this being Deutsche Bank it actually says "We just want to get out of this narrative and we are pretty sure that this has nothing to do with at least one of the many scandals that we have embroiled ourselves in recently, but who knows? We're Deutsche Bank and we fuck up literally all the time. We lent hundreds of millions of dollars to Donald Trump for crissakes!"
Mueller Subpoenas Trump Deutsche Bank Records [Bloomberg]