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Gary Cohn Attempts To Defend Donald Trump's Literacy By Impugning His Own

This is getting Faulknerian.
(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

It appears that Gary Cohn's ongoing dark night of the soul has entered into a new phase.

In interviews given this morning to ostensibly speak about the December jobs report, what's left of The Big Grundle ended up telling Bloomberg and CNBC that he will continue to work for the man he totally doesn't despise for at least a few more sleeps. How Gary delivered those messages though leads us to believe that the poor guy is barely hanging on by a thread at this point.

The first sign that Cohn is really struggling was his not-totally-airtight explanation for why jobs did not exceed expectations in the last month of the year.

It appears that Gary is basically trying to reason that the forces of e-commerce are just now coming to bear on the holiday job 2017. He even seems to try to pawn off some of the blame on economists for not factoring in the disruptive power of Amazon to retail job growth 2017. If that is what he's trying to do, this is not just bad and lazy, it's bringing a dull-edged, CNBC-level talking point to a Bloomberg knife fight.

And that became more apparent when Gary attempted to distance himself from the now-notorious email reported in Michael Wolff's new book. While it appears that nothing in the book states that the email was written by Gary, The Big Grundle used the confusion sewn by people like MSNBC's Stephanie Ruhle[ed note: Tee hee] to create a defense of himself by reminding everyone that he's no Shakespeare:

Cohn said Friday that the email did not reflect his feelings about Trump or working at the White House. “You can say Gary Cohn has never written an email more than five words,” he said in a brief interview.

For a man who been a vocal advocate for/sterling example of people's ability to overcome dyslexia, employing a "Gary no write good" defense is a pretty bad look.

But then again, it appears that Gary is inching ever closer to making a a run for freedom across the South Lawn. When pressed by Bloomberg if he was ready to leave the White House, Gary slapped on his ultra-smile and was overtly coy about being "happy to be part of [the president's] economic plan." But then he told CNBC this:

"I'm here today, and I'm here next week," the White House chief economic advisor told CNBC on Friday, without giving assurances beyond that time frame.

Telling your boss through an intermediary on a Friday that you'll be in the office next week but can't commit after that? That's ice cold, homie.

How Long Will Gary Cohn Work for Donald Trump? ‘I'm Here Today’ [Bloomberg]
Gary Cohn isn't going anywhere — for now [CNBC]


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