Opening Bell: 1.9.18

Mueller wants facetime with Trump; Goldman foresees a soggy dollar; Elon blew up a billion-dollar US spy rocket; Rubbing dynamite on your penis is now a thing; and more!
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Mueller Positions for Trump Interview, as Lawyers Assess Risk of Investigation [NYT]
No formal request has been made and no date has been set. White House officials viewed the discussion as a sign that Mr. Mueller’s investigation of Mr. Trump could be nearing the end. But even if that is so, allowing prosecutors to interview a sitting president who has a history of hyperbolic or baseless assertions carries legal risk for him. Mr. Mueller has already brought charges against four of Mr. Trump’s former aides. All face accusations of lying to the authorities.

Banks Seek Government Help to Track Money Laundering [WSJ]
Efforts to overhaul U.S. anti-money-laundering laws are gathering steam, as large banks, anticorruption groups and law-enforcement authorities coalesce around the idea of creating a national database of corporations and their true owners.
“We’ve come to see this as the right thing to do and a good thing for the banks,” said Greg Baer, the president of the Clearing House, a trade group of the largest U.S. banks.

It'll be another weak year for the US dollar, Goldman Sachs predicts [CNBC]
"We still think the dollar is probably going to be relatively soggy, at least against the majors, probably against the emerging economies to a significant degree as well," Jan Hatzius, chief economist at Goldman Sachs, said.

SEC Suspends Trading of Hong Kong Blockchain Firm's Stock [Coindesk]
UBI – which, as previously reported by Bloomberg, says it is developing a product tracking system using the tech – will see trading of its stock frozen from 9:30 a.m. ET this morning until Jan. 22, according to a statement from the U.S. regulator.
The SEC said that it was moving to halt trading due to questions about its recent public filings as well as market activity around the company's stock, which according to MarketWatch has seen its price jump more than 2,000% in the past year.

U.S. Spy Satellite Believed Lost After SpaceX Mission Fails [WSJ]
An expensive, highly classified U.S. spy satellite is presumed to be a total loss after it failed to reach orbit atop a Space Exploration Technologies Corp. rocket on Sunday, according to industry and government officials.
Lawmakers and congressional staffers from the Senate and the House have been briefed about the botched mission, some of the officials said. The secret payload—code-named Zuma and launched from Florida on board a Falcon 9 rocket—is believed to have plummeted back into the atmosphere, they said, because it didn’t separate as planned from the upper part of the rocket.

New erectile dysfunction gel is literally dynamite [NYP]
Researchers have come up with a dynamite solution for tackling impotence — a gel containing the explosive nitroglycerin.
In trials, rubbing on a pea-size blob of the gel delivered a positive result within 10 minutes for seven in 10 men with erectile dysfunction.
It works up to 12 times faster than Viagra.

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(Getty Images)

Opening Bell: 1.25.18

Trump to meet with Mueller; Mnuchin knows what he said about the dollar; 50 Cent is a Bitcoin millionaire; Man explodes cell batter by biting it; and more!

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Opening Bell: 9.29.17

Elon Musk wants to be Rocket Man; Roku IPO goes vertical; the Trump Trade is back; Thomas the Tank Engine is a cruel, repressive nightmare; and more.

Opening Bell: 3.22.16

Morgan Stanley targets millionaires; Goldman-1MDB probe focuses on bond deals; Warren unleashes on Trump; Man With 'Bionic' Penis Loses Virginity At Age 44; and more.

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Opening Bell: 12.5.17

Mueller is poking around at Deutsche Bank; bankers might be a little too accommodating to hedge fund clients; actual mining company mines bitcoin; Irish villagers face erection epidemic; and more.

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Opening Bell: 10.6.17

Guggenheim continues to be shitshow; Trump's FDA is in rubber-stamp mode; Elon Musk is "full of crap"; some very, uh, suggestive wedding photos; and more.