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Robinhood Betting That If Millennials Will Day-Trade Without Knowing Anything About Markets, They Will Probably Buy An Ass-Ton Of Bitcoin At The Top

This could be huge for the Bitcoin-price-powered buttplug market.

The app that allows stoned college sophomores to move equities from their dorm rooms in order to solve global wealth inequality, or something, is taking the next logical step and letting those same savvy investors buy cryptos!


Stock trading app Robinhood is becoming a cryptocurrency broker.
Customers in California, Massachusetts, Missouri, Montana and New Hampshire will be able to trade bitcoin and ethereum through the app beginning in February, Robinhood announced Thursday. In the meantime, all customers can now track prices and receive alerts for 16 cryptocurrencies on the app.

And considering that Robinhood has beautifully integrated the Amazon-proven tactic of recommending something else that its consumers might like, we are now living in a world where a financially clueless 20-year-old can look at their iPhone, buy some stock in Disney because they like animal cartoons and get an alert that they should consider picking up some Dogecoin "Cuz it's based on doggies!"

But don't fretm the guys running Robinhood know what's up. They're being pretty clear that cryptos are a volatile trading commodity that's only value is that they are volatile trading commodities...

"Cryptocurrencies have become the first foray into investing and financial services to a large number of people," Robinhood co-founder Vlad Tenev told CNBC in a phone interview. "Now it's become more and more clear [that bitcoin is an] investing asset."

Kind of like how Robinhood helped users got their asses handed to them on can't miss Millennial-focused IPOs like Snap and Blue Apron?

We're not saying that we don't like a little Darwinist piracy in our capitalism, but we are saying that we dig subtlety.

For cryptocurrency trading, Robinhood will have no investment minimums or maximums, and no withdrawal limits. The start-up will hold most of the digital coins offline in what is called cold storage. The practice prevents hackers from stealing the coins.
"We will connect to many exchanges, up to a dozen or more, over the next several months," Tenev said. "We want to break even on this business, not to profit from it. We view this as an opportunity to expand our customer base and give our customers more access to functionality."

We said "SUBTLETY" you clowns!

When will Robinhood's customer base realize that their favorite trading app - as the kids like to say - has zero chill?

Stock trading app Robinhood to launch bitcoin, ethereum trading in five states [CNBC]



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