Skip to main content

Call The Close: Smoke 'Em If You Ever Really Had 'Em Edition

(marolse3 via eBay.)

(marolse3 via eBay.)

You clowns knew this bullshit wouldn't last forever.

The absurd cosmically inexplicable optimism that fueled your beloved rally dies with Janet Yellen. You thought she wasn't magical? Then you have only yourselves to blame.

Party's over, so dust off those Dow 20K hats that you thought were so fucking adorable and use them to catch your tears and blood, then revel in the sick beauty of your narcissism and the whole inside that your will never fill.

Call the close, you greedy fools, and regain some of that false sense of control that you persisted in believing was yours all along, for The Trump Bump is over! In fact, like all things good and pure, it never really existed at all!

Same old rules: Closest guess without going over wins a Dealbreaker bag that you can use to clear out your desk after your bosses realize how much you've been allocating to Alphabet and Ripple.

So, eat shit and "enjoy" your weekend away from this nothingness.

UPDATE: Real talk on rules. Guesses must in form of DJIA number at the close. All entries must be submitted by 3:55pm EST.


(marolse3 via eBay.)

UPDATE: Call The Close: Nice Round Number Edition


(marolse3 via eBay.)

Call The Close: Dow 19,999.63 Edition

If the Dow hitting 20,000 is fundamentally arbitrary and meaningless then so is human existence.

GrossInHell (1)

Call The Close: Bond Bloodbath Edition

Don't look at the yield curve, just CtC and let's get F#CKED UP!!!


Call The Close: "How Crazy Is He?" Edition

Predict the carnage and regain control.

(marolse3 via eBay.)

Call the Close: Dow 20,000, Take Two

You people better get to work.