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Jamie Dimon Will Raze 270 Park In Order To Build Something More Worthy Of Jamie Dimon

The Khaleesi of Wall Street is done gazing with envy at the palaces of his lessers.

Lloyd has his gleaming spaceship on The Battery, BriMo has his modern Midtown tower, and Jim Gorman has his own blaring corner of Times Square. Hell, even Jes Staley has Dick Fuld's 32 stories of still-warm "vision-building" leftovers on Seventh Avenue.


Yet over on Park Avenue, the true Khaleesi of Wall Street sits in a mid-century throne room. A sixty-year-old relic that some fossils still have the temerity to call "The Union Carbide Building." But the Lord of Bankers and first of his name, has sat idle long enough inside a 52-story insult to his potency, and he will no longer attempt to put lipstick on that pigsty by filling his lobby with bespoke Vineyard Vines boutiques or pop-up luxury British car dealerships. No! Jamie Dimon is done gazing with envy at the palaces of his lessers...

JPMorgan Chase & Co. plans to build a headquarters in midtown Manhattan that would combine other offices into a new, taller building for 15,000 employees on Park Avenue.
The 2.5 million-square-foot (232,000-square-meter) building would be the first major project under New York City’s Midtown East rezoning plan, which encourages new office construction in the area, the bank and Mayor Bill de Blasio said in a statement Wednesday. JPMorgan’s current headquarters at the same site, 270 Park Ave., is an “outdated facility” that was designed in the late 1950s for about 3,500 employees, the company said.

Jamie will raze 270 Park to the ground in order to erect a structure worthy of his reign at JPM. And before you ask, The Tower of Dimon will be enormous, because of fucking course it will...

The headquarters could be between 70 and 75 stories, depending on how wide its footprint is, said a person with knowledge of the company’s plans. The current structure is 52 stories. The new building, which has yet to be designed, could be as much as 500 feet (150 meters) taller than the current headquarters, said the person, who asked not to be identified because details of the plans haven’t been publicly disclosed.

But like any living icon fully aware of his place in history, Jamie is planning a temple to himself that he will almost certainly never inhabit. A building of such vision and scope takes time to build, and Jamie's destiny beckons elsewhere...

Work on the property is expected to begin next year and take about five years to complete, with most employees at 270 Park relocated to nearby buildings during development. JPMorgan, the biggest U.S. bank, plans to buy development rights from landmarks in the surrounding area so it can build a taller tower. Construction of the new headquarters will create more than 8,000 jobs during the development period, JPMorgan said.

In five years, Jamie will no longer be sitting astride the top of his tower, but we do look forward to seeing him return to Park Avenue and 47th St. to preside over the ceremonial opening of his tower. And while security will be tight in Midtown that day, the people will rejoice and exclaim "Thank you for this building and for your service, President Dimon!"

JPMorgan Plans New Manhattan Headquarters for 15,000 Workers [Bloomberg]



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