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Tesla Shareholders Vote To Stop Pretending That Tesla Is Not A Cult

Bow down before Elon.

We tried to warn you, David Einhorn.


Tesla Inc. shareholders are said to have approved the board’s proposal to grant Chief Executive Officer Elon Musk stock options valued at $2.6 billion, paving the way for him to reap a big windfall if the electric-car maker maintains its growth trajectory over the next decade.

Funny money, absurd goals and a futurist billionaire playboy with his own space rockets. Burn your offerings on the altar of Tesla or be damned forever.

Tesla Investors Approve $2.6 Billion Award for Musk [Bloomberg]



David Einhorn Still Laboring Under Sad Misconception That Tesla Is Subject To Basic Logic

Why does he keep trying to apply financial logic to the factory of dreams?


Regardless Of Financials, Tesla Shattered All Elon Musk Expectations For Q1 2017

If you read closely, you can see where the ayahuasca Elon drank before the earnings call kicks in during the Q&A.


Elon Musk Admits To Being Lame At Orgies

"When's Elon gonna shut up about The Singularity and plow someone?" thought all the VCs, standing there naked from the fleece vest down.


Larry Ellison Joins Tesla Board As Elon Musk Positions Himself To Appear More Likable By Comparison

"Compared to Larry, Elon is kind of humble and sweet" people will say.


Elon Musk's New Semi Leaves Wall Street With A Semi Of Its Own

The Church of Elon is in a full-blown crisis of faith.