Travis Kalanick Embraces His Destiny As A Real Estate Developer

It's beautiful thing to watch a man find his true calling.
Jamie Dimon and Travis Kalanick bare their hearts.

Jamie Dimon and Travis Kalanick bare their hearts.

Working openly in moral gray areas to make more money than your rivals, unabashedly converting that money into power and then thuggishly using that power to crush the competition is not the kind of behavior that makes one beloved in Silicon Valley. In tech, voracious venality requires at least a thin veneer of bullshit altruism [see : Zuck, The].

Therefore it came as no real surprise when hard-charging capitalist ur-bro Travis Kalanick was exiled from Tech Valhalla for the capital crime of behaving in public like his contemporaries behave in private. Travis was like a Douche Icarus, too self-aware and confident to care about how he might be perceived in an industry obsessed with perception. Maybe he was never cut out to be a tech billionaire, even if he is definitely cut out to be a billionaire.

So where does a guy like Kalanick go for a second act? Where would his bruising, ethics-lite and capital thirsty business style be most appreciated? What kind of dark sector would throw its arms open to Travis Kalanick?

Ah, real estate development. Vaya con Dios, T-Kalz, you have truly found a home.