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Tim Geithner Would Be Laughed Out Of A Trump Cabinet Meeting

And not just because of his face.
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By Medill DC (Geithner) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

By Medill DC (Geithner) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

It’s been a decade since the darkest days of the financial crisis, so The Wall Street Journal is taking us on a fun trip down memory lane, checking in with some of the familiar faces of that era. Jimmy Cayne’s still playing bridge, his deputy’s still I-banking somehow, John Thain’s still keeping busy, Kyle Bass still thinks everything sucks and Eric Holder’s still a goddamned hypocrite. Oh yea, and Tim Geither’s still around, too.

The mini-profiles often feature some fun tidbits about our old friends, and today’s on Tim Geithner is no different. Since leaving 1500 Pennsylvania, he’s written a book no one read, given speeches no one wants to hear and spent some time in a place no one wants to be: court. Oh, yea, and he’s president of private-equity firm Warburg Pincus, because of course. I mean, what else is a former T-Sec to do? John Snow’s the chairman of Cerberus Capital, Bob Rubin padded his already substantial net worth with another $100 million-plus from Citigroup, Nicholas Brady became chairman of Franklin Templeton, Michael Blumenthal went to Lazard Freres, William Simon became a vice chairman of Blyth Eastman Dillon, and so on, ad infinitum. Presumably, when his current vanity project is at its end, Geithner’s most recent successor will do something similar. But will Steve Mnuchin have to do something like this? Would any of the current members of the Cabinet have to do something like this? Certainly not.

When he joined Warburg, New York state records show, he had to borrow the cash that the firm requires its executives to invest in its private-equity funds.

Former Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner Is Now a Private-Equity Firm Executive [WSJ]


Now You Listen Here: Tim Geithner's Bags Are Packed

Earlier today, it was reported that Timothy P. Geithner has informed people that he "plans to leave the administration by the end of January, even if President Barack Obama and congressional Republicans haven’t reached an agreement to raise the debt ceiling." Will this actually happen? Those unfamiliar with the Treasury Secretary's attempts to leave his post in the past will say yes. He's leaving, ship-shape. Those who've watched TPG try and fail to bust out of Washington for the last nineteen months, however, know better. More than likely, he's not going anywhere and it's not because deep down inside he doesn't actually want to go home but because his bosses won't let him. Witness, if you will, a small sampling of examples in which his requests have been denied, either directly (via someone laughing in his face) or indirectly (by giving those who've applied to replace him the wrong directions to their interview):

Charlie Gasparino: Don't Count Tim Geithner Out For Fed Chair

Tim Geithner basically spent the last four years trying and failing, numerous times, to leave Washington, i.e. his own personal torture chamber, but according to Chaz Gasparino, TG may allow himself to be pulled back in.

Let's Help Tim Geithner Name His Book

As you may have heard, Obama is apparently close to nominating Jack Lew for Treasury Secretary, giving Tim Geithner his late Christmas wish: a one-way ticket outta there. And while he's previously said to have no interest in writing about his time in Washington (and at the NY Fed before that), friends o' TG claim that his plan for the next year or so involve "a round of 'detox' and writing a book." Obviously we're still very far off from anything concrete but publishers will undoubtedly be banging down his door in no time and when they do, it might be nice to at least have a title to wet their palates. While Geithner packs his bags, let's do him a solid and come up with some options. The year spent sunning himself off the coast of Ko Samui (or puttering around Larchmont, or taking a job with the least amount of responsibility possible, whatever the detox entails) will presumably do wonders to take the edge of the last 48 months but if he's still in an angsty phase by the time he sits down to bang out his story, perhaps one of the following would work?