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Bill Gross Would Rather Spend Two Weeks Locked In A Room Decorated With His Ex-Wife’s Copies Of His Picassos With A Low-Flow Showerhead Alongside Jeff Gundlach Than Suffer Another Day Like Yesterday

If this were the Belmont Stakes, they’d be signaling for the shotgun for the Triple Crown of Newport Beach.
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Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images

In the last few years, Bill Gross has accumulated a number of contenders for “worst day ever.” There was the day his cat died. The day he learned the hard way it was not a good look to still have an AOL account. The day he learned the SEC had questions about his valuation policy. The day his governor suggested that he spend a few minutes less in the shower. The day he heard that President Trump might put his old colleague on the Federal Reserve Board of Governors, a body of which Gross already does not think much. The day Jeff Gundlach, another favorite, called him a “second-tier bond manager.” The day George Soros withdrew the support that had literally kept Gross going just a year before. The day he parted ways with his beloved stamp collection. The day he left the company he founded. The day his wife divorced him. The day after that day when he realized she’d also taken the Picasso with her, which was also the day he realized he probably needed new glasses.

And those are only the entrants from his eighth decade! Don’t get him started on all the days co-eds stopped him before he even got to second base, or the last day he dared sneak a peek at his cellulite-ridden posterior, or the day his dog Honey died. Now, however, we have some actual quantitative data, and can say with certainty that yesterday was, in fact, Bill Gross’ worst day.

Bill Gross’s flagship fund dropped more than 3% Tuesday, an unusually big decline for a bond fund and a sign that casualties are starting to emerge from this week’s Italian market shock…. “Even for unconstrained bond funds, it’s rare for such a sharp decline,” said Todd Rosenbluth, director of ETF & Mutual Fund research at CFRA.

We’re sure he’s handling it in a reasonable and not-at-all-unhinged way.

Bill Gross’s Janus Unconstrained Bond Fund Drops Sharply [WSJ]
Bond fund managed by Bill Gross has its worst day ever [CNBC]


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