Divorcing Bill Gross Will Turn You Into A World-Class Art Forger And Master Thief

That sound you hear is Mo El-Erian slow clapping until his hands bleed.
Can you spot the forgery?

Can you spot the forgery?

Bill Gross has long been known as a man of taste and refinement. Bill is an art collector, a noted philatelist, and a famed curator of numerous blood feuds. He's a man who likes to live publicly, a real character who sometimes offers bond investment advice, and even less often it's good advice.

Unfortunately for Bill, his ex-wife Sue Gross, has now revealed herself to be the Danny Ocean of finance divorcees.

Just sit back and breathe in the beauty of this exclusive from The NY Post:

Sue Gross didn’t wait until she and Wall Street titan Bill Gross had finalized their split, swapping out a 1932 Pablo Picasso painting entitled “Le Repos” hanging in their bedroom with her own rendering.
The original is expected to fetch as much as $35 million at Sotheby’s Monday evening.

Oh, you want details of how Sue Gross pulled off a dope-ass, shady-ass art heist on her ex-husband? Here are details: The super-contentious Gross split apparently somehow found itself in a situation where everyone involved invoked the bedrock legal statute of "Oh, fuck it, let's just flip a coin for most of this shit," and Sue ended up winning a bunch of art. And that's when this turns into a thing of true beauty:

After the flip, Bill Gross tried to make arrangements for the piece to be transferred from his ­Laguna Beach, Calif., house to his ex-wife, sources told The Post.
But the ex-Mrs. Gross said that was unnecessary — she already had taken the real thing.

Wow, that takes the kind of balls one usually sees in, like, someone who writes a flamer "I QUIT" letter to his previous employer and then sues for wrongful termination. And in case you ever wondered if Sue and Bill Gross had something in common, apparently it's giving zero fucks. In fact, judging from how Sue Gross behaves when caught forging and stealing a painting from her ex, Sue Gross might be more Bill Gross than Bill Gross himself:

“Bill was shocked Sue already had the piece,” a source said, adding that Bill said, “She stole the damn thing.”
In November testimony, the ex-wife readily admitted to swiping the Picasso, citing an e-mail Bill sent to her where he instructed her to “take all the furniture and art that you’d like.”
“And so I did,” she said.
But it wasn’t quite that simple, as testimony revealed the ex-wife’s prowess for both painting and artful deception.
“Well, you didn’t take it and leave an empty spot on the wall, though, did you?” lawyers for Bill Gross asked.
“No,” Sue responded.
“You replaced it with a fake?” the lawyer asked.
“Well, it was a painting I painted,” Sue responded.
“A replication of the Picasso?” the lawyer asked.
“A replication, yes,” Sue answered.
“And it had the Picasso signature and everything, didn’t it?” the lawyer asked.
“Not exactly . . .” she said.
“Whose signature was it? Sue Gross?” the lawyer asked.
“I don’t remember how I signed it. Bill will remember because I painted it at home years ago,” she said.
“Did you tell him that you took the Picasso?” the lawyer asked.
“No. We didn’t speak for a year and a half,” she answered just before the line of questioning turned to a 7-foot, 300-pound rabbit sculpture she also admitted taking.

Please join us in welcoming Sue Gross to The Dealbreaker Hall of Heroes.

This woman is a queen.

Wife hung fake Picasso after taking real thing amid contentious divorce [NY Post]