Divorcing Bill Gross Will Turn You Into A World-Class Art Forger And Master Thief

That sound you hear is Mo El-Erian slow clapping until his hands bleed.
Author:
Updated:
Original:
Can you spot the forgery?

Can you spot the forgery?

Bill Gross has long been known as a man of taste and refinement. Bill is an art collector, a noted philatelist, and a famed curator of numerous blood feuds. He's a man who likes to live publicly, a real character who sometimes offers bond investment advice, and even less often it's good advice.

Unfortunately for Bill, his ex-wife Sue Gross, has now revealed herself to be the Danny Ocean of finance divorcees.

Just sit back and breathe in the beauty of this exclusive from The NY Post:

Sue Gross didn’t wait until she and Wall Street titan Bill Gross had finalized their split, swapping out a 1932 Pablo Picasso painting entitled “Le Repos” hanging in their bedroom with her own rendering.
The original is expected to fetch as much as $35 million at Sotheby’s Monday evening.

Oh, you want details of how Sue Gross pulled off a dope-ass, shady-ass art heist on her ex-husband? Here are details: The super-contentious Gross split apparently somehow found itself in a situation where everyone involved invoked the bedrock legal statute of "Oh, fuck it, let's just flip a coin for most of this shit," and Sue ended up winning a bunch of art. And that's when this turns into a thing of true beauty:

After the flip, Bill Gross tried to make arrangements for the piece to be transferred from his ­Laguna Beach, Calif., house to his ex-wife, sources told The Post.
But the ex-Mrs. Gross said that was unnecessary — she already had taken the real thing.

Wow, that takes the kind of balls one usually sees in, like, someone who writes a flamer "I QUIT" letter to his previous employer and then sues for wrongful termination. And in case you ever wondered if Sue and Bill Gross had something in common, apparently it's giving zero fucks. In fact, judging from how Sue Gross behaves when caught forging and stealing a painting from her ex, Sue Gross might be more Bill Gross than Bill Gross himself:

“Bill was shocked Sue already had the piece,” a source said, adding that Bill said, “She stole the damn thing.”
In November testimony, the ex-wife readily admitted to swiping the Picasso, citing an e-mail Bill sent to her where he instructed her to “take all the furniture and art that you’d like.”
“And so I did,” she said.
But it wasn’t quite that simple, as testimony revealed the ex-wife’s prowess for both painting and artful deception.
“Well, you didn’t take it and leave an empty spot on the wall, though, did you?” lawyers for Bill Gross asked.
“No,” Sue responded.
“You replaced it with a fake?” the lawyer asked.
“Well, it was a painting I painted,” Sue responded.
“A replication of the Picasso?” the lawyer asked.
“A replication, yes,” Sue answered.
“And it had the Picasso signature and everything, didn’t it?” the lawyer asked.
“Not exactly . . .” she said.
“Whose signature was it? Sue Gross?” the lawyer asked.
“I don’t remember how I signed it. Bill will remember because I painted it at home years ago,” she said.
“Did you tell him that you took the Picasso?” the lawyer asked.
“No. We didn’t speak for a year and a half,” she answered just before the line of questioning turned to a 7-foot, 300-pound rabbit sculpture she also admitted taking.

Please join us in welcoming Sue Gross to The Dealbreaker Hall of Heroes.

This woman is a queen.

Wife hung fake Picasso after taking real thing amid contentious divorce [NY Post]

Related

BillGrossZoom

Famed Bad Breakup Artist Bill Gross Is [Allegedly] Painting His Disgusting Masterpiece

The Gross divorce turned literally gross [we hate ourselves for this.]

Photo: Bob Riha Jr/Getty Images

Bill Gross’ Love Letters: A Dealbreaker Retrospective

Misty water-colored memories of the way they were.

Photo: Bob Riha Jr/Getty Images

Bill Gross’ Mustache May Be Coming Back

Billy G is back on the market, ladies.

I'm sorry but I just don't recognize him. Source: Getty Images

Bill Gross' Current Boss Can't Believe Anyone Is Paying Bill Gross For Investment Advice These Days

Janus CEO Richard Weil is talking like he used to be married to Bill Gross.

Photo: Bob Riha Jr/Getty Images

Last Week In Moving On From Bill Gross

Pimco’s got a fresh start and Sue Gross a new house.

(Getty Images)

Bill Gross's Homespun Anecdotes Are Veering Into Very Dark Places

The world might be coming apart at the seams but hey! Bill's got a weird observation about his son's facial hair.

Photo: Bob Riha Jr/Getty Images

Noted Male Feminist Bill Gross Also Has Some Thoughts On Bonds This Month

The Once and Former Bond King has truly found his cringeworthy place in the #MeToo moment.

Photo: Bob Riha Jr/Getty Images

The White House Is Trying To Kill Bill Gross

Mo El-Erian to The Fed is the kind of shit even we couldn't make up.