Are You Guys Even Allowed To Read This?

Are we banned at your office? Hello?
Publish date:

After working at Dealbreaker, I've realized that a surprising amount of people are familiar with our content and what we do. However, I've also realized there is a large contingent of people who aren't familiar with what we do. More importantly, this is a large contingent of people who aren't fans of what we do. And because of this, it turns out that a couple of banks have us blocked on their servers.

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To be fair, I can't blame said banks given that most of our content would just distract hard-working analysts from editing powerpoints till 2 in the morning.

Since I am the lowly intern of the Dealbreaker, I have been given the nonsensical task to determine which banks block us, and which ones don't. I don't know if Thornton realizes I'm not qualified to do this in any capacity, but when I try to explain this he gives me the silent treatment. So I guess that means I have to do it or else he'll start carrying around the baseball bat again, and no one wants that.

So if you guys want to help me retain my job, I'd love for you to tell me if your office *cough*Bank of America *cough* has us blocked. Just send it on over to, so I can fulfill my undying need to earn my boss' approval.

Seriously...he has a bat.


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You Don't Have To Look Like That If You Don't Want To

Have the past several years wreaked havoc on your looks? Is your face starting to look like an old catcher's mitt? Do you wake up with new wrinkles every day? Do you stare into the mirror and wonder who the old, haggard looking man staring back is? Does it look like a bag lady has taken up residence under your eyes? Do you catch a glimmer of your reflection and think, "Why would anyone want to fuck me? I'm hideous." Are you generally disgusted with yourself? Do you want to do something about it, something involving a doctor's office and needles, but are afraid of what people might think? Don't be! According to Bloomberg lots of guys are taking 20 to "refresh" themselves and in fact, financial services employees represent "the fastest growing segment" of Dr. Dendy Engelman's "patient population." Everybody does it, it's just that no one talks about it. Easing Stress In Time For The Weekend [BloombergTV]

Investment Bank Group Head: Do You Want To Be A Wolf That Starves In The Winter Or Wolf That Eats His Competitors' Fee Pies For Lunch?

Your call. From: [redacted] Sent: March 28, 2012 9:12 AM Subject: Spring Ahead For those with direct/indirect coverage responsibilities, pls take out your lists today to remind yourselves who we have money out to and that your name is on the ComCom coverage team that got that money approved. Anecdotal observation I conclude is that where we pay attention in some reasonable, non-trivial ways (meeting, meal, call, insightful email), we get paid back in flow DCM capital markets participation It's just how this game works, the money doesn't flat out speak for us, we need to speak for it, and we don't have to stomp/yell, just be around, consistently the more frequency, the more client comfort, the more they feel reminded of their commercial obligations to us, the easier it is for them to remember to take care of us -- lubricate to prevent rust, just like a motor engine or morning exercise We've been printing something almost every week this spring, keep the momentum while it's here, and make it grow so it lasts into trough times If you think this message is meant for someone else, it's probably for you too, it is for us all, so don't look sideways for some sort of peer-level comfort, look to your career, which is your clients Junior bankers pushing cogent observations up are as important as senior bankers pushing that stimulus out to clients -- make your time matter most, you own it the world is still an uncertain place, which means our individual and collective ability to create opportunity and make a personal impact is here and now Various of us have teamed up very well on multiple and diverse endeavors within this 2012 Budget year to close out Tier 1, and then re-populate it, so it matters for our Fiscal 2012 In doing so, we have become a Burden to our competitors and a Benefit to our clients, as it should be Those recently Burdened by our direct sharp edge into their fee pie and who would otherwise prefer that we be unmotivated, disorganized, lazy-minded, subservient and acquiescent include: [list of every large bank] With no due respect to their no longer deserved incumbency, I like being where we are, doing what we're doing, and how we're doing it, working and Winning, without the Charlie Sheen meltdowns along the way Welcome to Top 10 there's more food on those complacent plates, they're distracted by entitlement, not watching the table, it's time for the hungry to eat We Hunt and We Gather, sometimes alone, sometimes together both strategies work, and have since mankind became sentient Wherever your personal preferences and natural tendencies may lead you, rise above that and evolve to a more meaningful Hunter/Gatherer contributor to this increasingly productive tribe -- the bigger payout kills require larger organized squads -- wolves hunt in packs for a reason, and every pack needs it's field leader to be best organized -- it's the time-tested proven best use of a wolf pack's collective energy -- if they waste it, they starve in winter -- we're graduating to wolf pack status, it's got our competitors looking, watching, wondering -- for those who've never operated within a wolf pack, come aboard and enjoy the living/learning-by-doing experience!