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In The Space Of 15 Minutes, Trump Tweets Support For Less Expensive Gas, More Expensive Cars

What? Maybe YOU don't know what you're talking about/

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Billionaire Space Race? Billionaire Space Race!

Just click this, you know you want to.

elon-rocket

Elon Musk Hopes To Distract From His Problems By Having People Pay Him To Elaborately Murder Them In Space

If you don't stop shorting Tesla, Elon's going to shoot a Japanese guy into the fucking moon.

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Investing In 2017 Means Getting Mobile Notifications When Trump Tweets About Your Stocks

And it's your duty as an American investor in 2017 to blindly trade on that information, damn the consequences.