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Bitcoin Recovery Short-Circuited By Continuing Failure Of Two Very Tall Men

The Winklevii may yet kill that which they claim to love.
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(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Four years ago, those pledged to the pure ideals of an imaginary currency declared that they’d had enough of the besuited sellouts and compromisers in their midst. The cryptocapitalists, the cryptoanarchists whined, were going to run everything about their precious nothing. I mean, how dare anyone apply capitalism to a self-proclaimed unit of exchange?

Of course, the Bitcoin Tea Party has done essentially nothing to stop the encroachment of The Man, but they were not wrong to fear him. For just as things were starting to turn around in Cryptopia, insofar as BTC being down just 60% from its all-time high as opposed to more than 60%, and in spite of the slings and arrows of the rapidly-fossilizing doubters and the endorsement of Steve Bannon, the cryptocapitalists, in the odious form of two very tall assholes and an ex-wrestlerprivate equity honcho, with an assist from the Bitiots’ purported true enemy, government regulators, have gone and fucked things uponce again.

The Securities and Exchange Commission rejected a second attempt by Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, founders of crypto exchange Gemini, to list shares of what would be the first-ever bitcoin ETF…. The price of bitcoin dipped 3 percent to $7,880 following the news, according to data from Coinbase.

Galaxy Digital LP, the crypto-focused merchant bank founded by Mike Novogratz, posted a $134 million loss in its first quarter, when the value of Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies plunged.

Of course, this story isn’t over; the story of Winklevii scorned never is. Plus, bitcoin isn’t really a currency. It’s a religion. And like Tesla and all other creeds promising a land of milk and honey at some unspecified time in the future, possibly after the adherent’s own end, it ultimately does not live or die by fundamentals—which it also lacks—or any other conventional metric recognizable to David Einhorn. It lives and dies on faith. And on both sides of the great bitiot/biterati divide, the faithful continue to clap.

Bitcoin Bull Mark Yusko sees prices at half a million dollars in six years…. The CEO and chief investment officer of Morgan Creek Capital Management, handling $1.5 billion in assets, explains if you look at the history of Bitcoin price, this is how it moves. It will have a parabolic move and then a crash, then a parabolic move and a crash, and that's the way technology is adopted….

How did he come to the $500,000 figure? Yusko explains by using the underlying value to estimate what the network value is worth. He says the network value is pretty easy to calculate: take the "hash power of the network, and the number of participants and the amount of money that comes into the network."

And then he pulled his head out of his hat and put his seer stone back in his pocket and began waiting for the next parabolic move to bring new believers into the fold.

Winklevoss twins bitcoin ETF rejected by SEC [CNBC]
Mike Novogratz’s Crypto Firm Loses $134 Million in the First Quarter [Bloomberg]
Bitcoin Prices Could Hit $500,000, Says Hedge Fund Manager Mark Yusko [TheStreet]


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The SEC Is So Sued

That is what happens when you cross the Winklevoss twins.

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Winklevii Planning To Dance On Graves Of Aged Bitcoin Skeptics

It’s the only way since they’ll all be dead when the cryptoverse triumphs under the co-Presidents Winklevoss.

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Winklevii Doing Everything They Can To Suck The Fun Out Of Bitcoins

Do your metaphorical manipulation of your metaphorical currencies on another metaphorical exchange.


Mike Novogratz Totally Knew Bitcoin Would Lose Money. Just Not, Like, Quite This Much Money.

Also, he’s not the Messiah. He’s just a very disappointed boy.