Contemplating Launching Your Own Fund? Then Maybe Stop Licking Your Cat's Butthole, Says Science

This explains Ackman.
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According to an actual real new study, that brilliant business idea you're having might just be your brain telling you that you're eating too much of your cat's shit.

Catshit success

Behold, the greatest news lede we've seen for many moons:

A mind-controlling parasite found in cat feces may give people the courage they need to become entrepreneurs, researchers reported Tuesday.
They found that people who have been infected with the Toxoplasma gondii parasite are more likely to major in business and to have started their own businesses than non-infected people.

We look forward to visiting MBA programs in the fall, busting in the door and yelling "Raise your hand if you don't eat from your cat's litter box!" You sick fucks.

But before you start pointing fingers at the Silicon Valley crowd and laughing, be warned that evidence indicates we're not far off from hearing that traders are also suffering from catshit brain poisoning...

Toxoplasmosis has been linked to a greater risk of "car accidents, mental illness, neuroticism, drug abuse and suicide,” Johnson and her colleagues wrote in their paper, published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B.

We're starting to wonder if Elon Musk is eating anything but cat shit.

If true, this new science could lead us into a brave new world of investing. Instead of marketing decks and extensive data on previous performance, hedge fund managers should just disclose their relative level of catshit brain poisoning and let investors decide just how much fearless brain damage they're comfortable throwing their money at.

On a related note, we get Bitcoin now.

Also, buy a dog, weirdo.

Parasite in cat poop could be reducing our fear of failure, study finds [CNBC]

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