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Layoff Watch '18: Deutsche Bank Just Fired Fruit

What's the German compound word for "Put the mango down! Mango is for closers"?

We are sometimes accused of being a little too hard on Deutsche Bank. But in truth, this might be a case of someone loving someone else so hard that it hurts.


After all, how else could we feel about a bank that cuts cost by taking away fruit? Per Bloomberg...

Investment bankers at Germany’s largest lender have been told to travel coach class on trains; fewer are able to attend conferences and some former employees said severance pay was less generous than previous handouts. Even small treats like the daily fruit bowls are disappearing.

When you've unsuccessfully experimented with taking away bonuses from a talent pool that lives for bonuses, cut back on real estate costs and cut ties with a few thousand employees including your CEO, the logical next step is targeting all those ridiculous plastic bowls teeming with brown kiwi and sodden pineapple. Christian Sewing is not fucking around, du nerden!

And neither is his hatchet man of the moment:

The appointment of a new chief operating officer, Frank Kuhnke, as a direct report to Sewing is a signal that the CEO wants to have better control over processes and expenses. Kuhnke’s efficient yet blunt tactics have earned him the moniker ‘Frank the Tank,’ one person said.

Seriously, how can you not love this bank?

Deutsche Bank Cuts Costs Again. Not Even Fruit Bowls Are Safe [Bloomberg]



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