Opening Bell: 8.8.18

China fires back; Elon spouts off; Crypto goes down; Arsenal FC still crap; Broken vagina woman shares all;' and more!
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China announces 25% tariffs on $16 billion worth of US goods, including crude oil and cars [CNBC]
China's announcement comes after the U.S. Trade Representative's office released a finalized list of $16 billion worth in Chinese goods that will be hit with tariffs. The U.S. charges will take effect on Aug. 23. The latest U.S. list brings the total worth of Chinese goods facing a 25 percent tariff to $50 billion.
Tensions between the U.S. and China have been simmering in recent months as the Trump administration takes a more protectionist stance when it comes to trade.

ElonMusktoinnette

Elon Musk Says Tesla May Go Private, and Its Stock Soars [NYT]
In a terse and cryptic Twitter post, he declared that he was ready to take Tesla private. The stock market that made his company worth over $60 billion wasn’t worth the hassle.
“Am considering taking Tesla private at $420,” he wrote. “Funding secured.”
Tesla’s stock was already up sharply on a report that Saudi Arabia was taking a sizable stake in the company. But investors were left to puzzle out the implications of Mr. Musk’s proposition, its relationship to the Saudi report, and even the authenticity of the tweet. And so, starting at 12:48 p.m., the market that Mr. Musk threatened to forsake went into a frenzy.

Crypto’s $600 Billion Crash Hits a New Low [Bloomberg]
A broad selloff in coins of all sizes reduced the market value of virtual currencies tracked by Coinmarketcap.com to about $230 billion, the lowest level since November. Digital assets have now lost about $600 billion since crypto-mania peaked in January, equivalent to erasing the entire market value of Visa Inc. twice over. (Shares of the payments processor are trading near a record high.)
The SEC postponed its decision on whether to approve the Bitcoin ETF, dealing a blow to bulls who had bet a green light from the regulator would help sustain last month’s tenuous rally. Optimists are counting on the wider adoption of cryptocurrencies to support prices, but regulators and many institutional investors have remained wary amid concerns over security and market manipulation.

Thomson Reuters grows revenue, sees Blackstone deal closing in fourth quarter [Reuters]
Thomson Reuters agreed in January to sell a 55-percent stake in the Financial & Risk unit, which sells data and news primarily to financial customers, to Blackstone. It expects the deal to close early in the fourth quarter.
The company has said it expects to use $1 billion to $3 billion from the proceeds of the Blackstone deal to make acquisitions in legal and accounting, but has no plans to go into new businesses.
In an interview, Chief Executive Officer Jim Smith said he was assessing potential opportunities.
“There are a couple that look quite interesting to us and we’ll continue to evaluate them,” he said.

U.S. Billionaire Gets Full Control of Arsenal, Buying Out Russian Rival [NYT]
The Russian tycoon Alisher Usmanov agreed on Tuesday to sell his 30 percent stake in Arsenal to the club’s majority owner, the American billionaire E. Stanley Kroenke, an agreement that would end years of acrimony and values the English Premier League team at $2.3 billion.
Mr. Kroenke and Mr. Usmanov spent years fighting for supremacy at Arsenal, buying up shares whenever they became available, and the deal clears the way for Mr. Kroenke to take the club private, an action that Mr. Usmanov had long blocked by refusing to sell his shares.
All this despite Arsenal a crap club.

Woman who 'broke' her vagina shares hilarious warning about using sex toys for the first time [Mirror]
She explained: “After a couple of weeks of using my new adult plaything, I started experiencing some pelvic pain and was hobbling around the office.
“Not making the connection, I went to the doctor to find out what was wrong.”
When all her STD tests came back clear, it started to become obvious what exactly was causing the problem.
“The doctor started asking some questions and that’s when I realised the pain had been the result of me over-using my vibrator! It was equal parts embarrassing and hilarious.”

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