Tesla shares are under pressure again amid concerns about the 'go-private' deal and potential enforcement action following Elon Musk's tweet. JPMorgan slashed its price target on the stock 37% to $195 today, saying funding does not appear secure. Meanwhile, Tesla bulls are finding some solace in the fact that Musk unfollowed girlfriend Grimes on Instagram and Twitter - suggesting they may no longer be an item. This, bulls say, could allow Musk to get back on track mentally.
Setting aside the small tragedy that these poor people are now in the late stages of whatever mental disease infects them, let's just take a moment to bask in the beauty of "serious" investors monitoring the secondary activity on Elon Musk's social media accounts to divine meaning in his dating life and then laying that data onto their perception of Tesla's future market performance.
But before you laugh at these people, take care to remember that Grimes is now the Yoko Ono of Tesla - but worse if you consider that John Lennon never went onto Dick Cavett high as a fucking kite and committed securities fraud - so this is merely a concrete piece of fundamental financial on which to trade TSLA. If Elon fires up his dormant Tinder account, the stock is mathematically a screaming BUY!
Haha, that's a joke. Elon's surely on Bumble.
And while this whole thing is the latest and most absurd moment in the batshit implosion of Tesla as a public company, we wait with bated breath for the now inevitable twitter beef between Ross Gerber and Azealia Banks. That shit's gonna be lit and do wonders for TSLA's 200-day moving average...because everyone involved with this story is FUCKING CRAZY.
We should have stayed on vacation.