We're sure you guys heard all those merger rumors swirling around Deutsche Bank recently.
In addition to that long-stage-whispered-about deal with Commerzbank that the German government appears sweet on, there's also a growing chorus of murmurs that UBS is interested in hooking up with Deutsche for some hot Schweiz on Suisse action. If you listen to the rumor mill, more and more banks want to get all up in a merger with a certain German lender. But if you listen to Deutsche Bank, this is all a bunch of quatsch...
Deutsche Bank Chief Financial Officer James von Moltke on Wednesday said recent merger reports were “fictions of the press”, while UBS and Commerzbank declined to comment on Wednesday’s Handelsblatt report.
And von Moltke followed his statement up with a good point: What idiot would believe that any bank in its right mind wants to merge with the smoldering garbage fire that is Deutsche Bank?
“We are constantly amazed at what passes through the editorial filters and gets into the press,” von Moltke said, adding that Deutsche Bank had a lot of work to do on the merger of its retail units, which would take several years.
But von Moltke was a little undercut by his own boss, who definitely left the door open to more rumors...
Asked at a conference on Wednesday about the potential for a tie-up with a competitor, Deutsche Bank’s chief executive Christian Sewing said he had “said everything there is to say about it and I am working on my homework”.
Damn, Sewing, keep it in your pants. Is there anything thirstier than a German being brusque and bragging about his homework?