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Elon Musk Hopes To Distract From His Problems By Having People Pay Him To Elaborately Murder Them In Space

If you don't stop shorting Tesla, Elon's going to shoot a Japanese guy into the fucking moon.

As the old saying goes; If high-speed vacuum tunnels, space rockets, funny hats, solar panels, Thai kids trapped in a cave, flamethrowers and getting high on a podcast don't get people to stop talking about how you forgot to build a car company inside your car company, there's only one thing left to try...


Elon Musk and his rocket company, SpaceX, have revealed who will fly their spaceship around the moon for the first time: a Japanese entrepreneur named Yusaku Maezawa.

Since you all can't stop being so negative about Tesla, Elon Musk is going to kill a man in space.

And not just anyone, a painfully hip Japanese fashion billionaire who's paying for the privilege...

Maezawa was a skateboarder and drummer in his youth, and founded the fashion label Zozo 20 years ago.
Maezawa announced on Monday that he plans to select six to eight artists to accompany him on his journey around the moon.

How, might you ask, are all these people going to "get to" the moon? Well...

If all goes according to plan, Maezawa and his artist crew may become the first people to fly SpaceX's Big Falcon Rocket— a new launch system that's being designed to colonize Mars— and also the first-ever private lunar tourist in history.
According to Musk's latest presentation about the BFR, the launch system will be 347 feet tall and 30 feet wide.
It's 16-story spaceship, which will ride atop a 19-story rocket booster, is expected to carry up to 100 people and 150 tons of supplies to the Martian surface.

Sounds totally cool and safe.

But we shouldn't be so snarky. After all, this is a bold example of the human spirit of adventure, and Elon is the visionary of our era. Sure, he's been distracted and wacky lately, but you gotta believe that the fate of all these souls will keep him focused and on message...

"Elon is an incrementalist and to a great extent he is always thinking aloud," Greg Autry, the director of the Southern California Spaceflight Initiative, told Business Insider in an email. "I think it is really healthy to see this iterative change happening, because I believe we can assume it is based on actual development and simulation going on."
But Musk said "this is the final iteration in terms of broad architectural design" in the announcement on Monday.

Ruh roh.

Elon Musk just revealed who will fly to the moon on SpaceX's new rocket ship [BI]


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